Hidden, screened, walled - the real us!

“To be natural is such a very difficult pose to keep up”.  Oscar Wilde

Have you ever been to a party and managed to be genuinely yourself? Without adjusting your tie or smoothing off your hair. No apprehensions when you walked, no mental counter checking of the words spoken or no suppression of overwhelming desire to laugh? I am sure most of the socially conscious people are able to understand the underlying meaning and will respond in negative. We all try to appear as the most ‘culturally sophisticated’ beings in a social gathering and neglect our ‘real selves’ entirely for a while.

And that’s precisely what happens when we sit in front of our PC and chit chat with a stranger, a colleague or even a friend on a ‘social platform’. Maybe our mental attire alters more than physical one but there are changes nonetheless.

Scientific studies too point out that a person is most comfortable when he is alone, amidst his own self or with people extremely close to him. And his level of ease declines when the number of people in his vicinity increases. Then how can one except his mind to be in a state of tranquility and natural true self in front of virtually a whole wide world??!!

The fact is that our brain automatically starts manipulating itself so as to ‘fit in’ the moment we type in www i.e., World Wide Web.

So much so for the ‘sub conscious’ state of mind.

Now, coming to the ‘conscious’ mortal chatting or putting up ‘updates’ on the various social networking sites.

Majority of us put forward our best foot much similar to how we act in our real lives when going to a marriage or a party, your first day at college or on a newly secured job. We tend to pick out the most apt words and present ourselves as a gentle, liberal friendly guy/girl even though our own genuine self maybe poles apart.

There is another class of people who believe in the mantra that virtual world is a place to crib and so they tend to pile up all their melancholy via various updates and uploads. These people are generally the ones who either suffer from an extremely low self-esteem or aren’t well adapted to the highs and lows of a life in reality.

Then there also exists a group of morons who are a malaise to the ‘virtual world’ identical to the ones we encounter in reality.

The point is that ‘whatever be the class of people, they are neither consciously nor sub-consciously themselves on any part of the World Wide Web’.

Reasons could range from our extreme dependency to easy popularity gained on social platforms. Plus it often happens that when we meet people in bone and flesh , imperfections are bound to appear while on the contrarily virtual media conceals all such human faults so the idea of faking perfect identity is not just more luring but also a sort of necessary gesture.

As Eddie Murphy said “All men are sculptors, constantly chipping away the unwanted parts of their lives, trying to create their idea of a masterpiece”.

The problem is the too much of sculpting can create even greater and more prominent flaws.

Such identity crisis is dismantling the idea of ‘being human’ and relations seem to loose their essential flavours.  Unconsciously, sub-consciously and more often consciously we are engaged in preparing a ‘tasteless curry’ without emotions and reality has already taken a back seat.

I began by quoting the great Oscar Wilde, and now I would like to end it by another quote of his:

“One's real life is often the life that one does not lead”.

In the tech savvy era of ours this quote somehow seems to make a lot more sense. Don’t you think so?

PS: this is an old post which couldn't get posted on my blog due to some reasons. 

 

Opinionated lot and the chaotic khichdi!

Opinions, opinions everywhere..not a single ear to listen them to! 

Ours is a tech savvy generation and we all know that. Children these days, cut their way directly through umbilical cords to iPods! Mobiles phones are our new best friends and gadgets an extended family.
Tech savviness has given birth to so many new social networking sites, discussion portals, instant messengers over the past decade. The result of which is an ever evolving and ever increasing number of opinions on any and every issue that finds a split second of a space on our mobile/laptop screens.

Humans have always considered judging their fellow species a birthright and with the advent of Internet where opinions afloat as freely and abundantly as mosquitoes in monsoons,our rights seemed to have received a stamp 'ISI purity'.

This opinionated generation of today cares  about everything and anything that seems to be occurring in the farthest of galaxies. Be it the #choices of a popular Bollywood actress or #losses of the Indian cricket team, we have been raising err typing our #voices, lour, clear, incessant and more often than not unnecessarily.

Pardon me for my bluntness henceforth and please bear my desire to wade through the same 'shallow opinionated waters'.

The issue that irks me most of the times is not why people speak out, but some inherent qualities that we possess as a Hindustani drive me crazily up the wall and I stomp my thumb, irritated, logging out of Facebook.

To begin with, we Indians believe in raising our voice. We have this preconceived notion that unless a man erects and upholds his #voice #number of lies #penis and of course the ever increasing vocabulary of #'Ch' words, no work or opinions can be sanely processed by another human mind listening to him on the receiving end. He does it with his children, his wife, servants, employees and he does it on social media. Happily throwing in a series of cuss words, proudly spitting out some more and also waiting to hear some more in the comments.

Secondly, Indians suffer from an array of eerie illusions! We certainly do! They range from illusions of grandeur to illusion of God's chosen to illusion of being a Mr. Right. 

Now when people with such illusions tend to judge and splatter opinions the outcomes of someone else being correct or wise is as rare is a tanzanite stone.

The story however, doesn't end here! We have been candidly passing opinions day after day and this infectious malice of vomiting out ignorant, baked and burnt opinions is becoming chronic by the day.

So much so that it has reached ad nauseam levels now. But our fellow social networkers and twitterati fail to realise or accept it. It seems that a trending news is religious chant that needs to be oft repeated in the form of tweets and statuses or you shall face God's wrath.

I am not against people sharing a piece of their minds or speaking up against issues that inflict upon us. I am only irked by the ever and increasing chunk of useless, half cooked, rotten and negative ones out there. And of course the repetitive ones. 

I seriously feel that now is the time to bring back some old adages to practice. To listen and analyse more and speak less. To De-connect and seek solace within. Or the day is not far when all our raised voices and agitations will bang those walls and die out. 
Unheard. Wiped out. 

The 'alternate' doctor!

We humans are functionally and fundamentally a complex combination of tendencies, instincts and inclinations. A very marked one, out of these, is to be a 'priority'. To never be an option or an alternative. Athough we are quick to chalk out our own choices and priorities, no one wants to be listed as secondary in someone else's list of importants.

The irony of today's time however is that we live in a world of ever increasing alternatives. Whatever displeases our sense of perfection even by Nano-inch is automatically replaced by something new. Which is why being an alternative is getting even more scarier in this extremely competitive and perfection demanding era of today. 

Having said all that, here I stand, a doctor pursuing an 'alternative' system of medicine. Yes, this very word alternative would make a majority of the world either pay no attention to it or neglect it ever so brutally. Many of you might question, why have an alternative system after all when the mainstream system of medicine is flourishing. Backed up by the greatest pharmaceutical giants it is now no more an orthodox system of medicine. The doctors of allopathic system are met with this dignity and respect, no matter what actually goes beneath the teachings of the coveted white aprons.

Oh no! Before you get me wrong or pity me or presume this to be one of those 'whining with a glass of wine' post, let me tell you then I plan not dirt slinging but of whining, well, I'm not very certain.

So anyways, having completed my BHMS this month (for those of you who don't know, BHMS stands for Bachelor of homoeopathic medicine and surgery) it scares me an awful lot to be labelled and reckoned as an alternate, a second choice or maybe the last of all. 

No matter the effort I have put in, the knowledge I acquired, the compassion in my bosom to treat and cure, the will to heal are suffering humanity-I will, most probably be unable to prescribe off this ailment of being labelled as secondary.

For many of you reading this, it may not seem to be a big deal but if you think of it all in terms of your health it might ring a bell somewhere near you. If you as a patient, come to visit the doctor with a biased mind, of him being an alternate how can there ever develop a primary doctor-patient relationship? How do you expect me, the doctor, to give you my best when I am just a secondary substitute?

How wise is it to label a doctor as a substitute or an alternate just because he practices a pathy that is an alternate system of medicine in the country? Haven't we, because of our ignorance, misinterpreted and mis-designated the doctors of today? The reason why the word alternate was attached to different systems of medicine was because they moved parallely with the modern system and in many cases worked much better than allopathy. Their principles and foundations being much stronger and older than the modern system. But as it happens in all civilisations, people judge rather misjudge the reasons and formulate new ones, the alternate system stooped down to the level of being a last resort and the doctors being called as quacks.

We, the doctors of alternate pathy may not be able to fight with the moneymaking pharmaceutical companies out there or with those who leave no stone unturned to prove us to be nothing more than a placebo. But we surely have hope. And our hope is our patients. The faith of our patients is what has kept our pathy consistently rising above all hurdles and proving that we can do miracles. 

I have no qualms in being labelled as an alternate if I am a priority for my patients. If they consider me something more, something above and beyond the last and final resort/try and error method. I sincerely wish that come soon the day we, the homoeopaths are able to prove what a wonder our pathy is. Giving homeopathy the place it truly deserves. 

Signing off, me, the alternate doctor trying my best to reach and help you with this extraordinary pathy! 

Right to imagination - A book in every child's hand!

"The stories of childhood leave an indelible impression, and their author always has a niche in the temple of memory from which the image is never cast out to be thrown on the rubbish of heap of things that are outgrown and outlived". - Howard Pyle

Books and stories carry in them a sense of ever lasting nostalgia. Reading and listening to the tales has been the most treasured and beautiful moment for most of us since childhood days. Isn't it? 

Cinderella, snow white and Rapunzel's dreamland, the adventures of tom sawyer, Panchatantra, Akbar-Birbal's tales of wit and wisdom, Nancy Drew's mystery missions- these and many more story books are my most prized possessions. They made me learn as I grew and gave power to my imagination and expression. Am sure your experiences are much the same. 

But don't you think that every child deserves the pleasure of experiencing the joy of reading a good book? Yet not all are fortunate. Stats shows that about 300 million children all over India have NEVER held a book in their hand. The happiness of sitting cuddled up in bed and enjoying the adventures of Arabian nights eludes them. Fairies don't accompany them in their dreams with any magic or miracles. 

This is not 'just' about right to education or literacy. The cause in question is simpler yet significant, that is a book in every child's hand. No matter which language or expression, how big or small, cheap or expensive - a story is all that matters. 

THE PROBLEMS :

1) Good books today are basically available in Hindi or English. but with 22 official languages and about 1600 dialects. How can only two languages suffice?

2) Cost- Big publishing houses sell books at expensive prices which cannot be afforded by most of the population.

3) Literacy rate is still low specially in the states of Rajasthan, Uttar Pradesh , Bihar and Jharkhand so spending time or money on reading is out of question until proactive steps are taken to build and sustain interest among children.

4) Lack of quality education - Research reveals that 1 in 3 school going children cannot read fluently. Children who are unable to read are unable to learn, as they can't understand what is being taught to them. And that contributes to high dropout rates in schools.

5) Awareness - There is extreme ignorance about all such issues so the movement fails to pick up momentum.

6)Apart from this, the ever increasing population only tends to create a huge gap in the demand supply ratio.

With these issues in mind a non-profit organisation called Pratham Book was set up in 2004 as a part of Read India movement. PB was established as a not-for-profit public charitable trust to reach children whom the market ordinarily would not and, therefore, to democratize the joy of reading.
There are still very few publishing houses willing to provide affordable content and that too in multiple English languages.

Pratham Books logo

Pratham books have come up with some extremely creative and innovative solutions to cater the problems in hand. Some of these are :

1) Selling books in sachet form that is, a four page book for just Rs.2. An amount which any young reader across the country can afford. Around 8 million such cards have been sold.

2) Bilingual books - books in two languages at a price of one. They also help children to learn a second language, and in the non-English medium world, bilinguals are being used to learn English.

3)Creative commons - they have put up many books in several languages under the Creative Commons license. This creates a multiplier effect where the books get converted into new forms and many derivative works get produced. So there is content available for iPads, iPhone, e-readers, audio-clips and digital content for the visually-challenged. 

 4) They have also started a new venture called 'Annual World Storytelling Day contest' where readers can remix their illustrations to make new stories. This exercise has given them over eighty new stories. It works beautifully on two levels: by using the same illustrations to make new stories they have reduced the cost of producing content and for a single publisher, coming up with 80 new books would have easily taken a few years, not to mention the costs.

All these and many other innovative approaches have been welcomed and have received an enthralling response. In the last 6 years, pratham books have published over 215 titles in up to 11 languages and have spread the joy of reading to over 15 million children.

Their mission is simple -'Indian content for Indian children'. Proving books which are both linguistically and regionally relevant. 

Now coming to the most important aspect. WHAT YOU AND I CAN DO? 

1) Know and share - Beginning from the basics, this is indeed the most important facet for tackling any issue. Get aware and let people know. Be it verbally, through print media, technology like E-mails, social networking sites, blogs etc. 

2) Read 'them' a story - Just to create interest and open a world full of imagination in front and fantasies for them. Your single story can change someones life! In the words of B.F. Skinner 'we shouldn't teach great books, we should teach a love of reading'.

3) Gift a book to someone today - Words and actions should go hand in hand for a practically productive outcome. We all have children around us, identity those who need it the most maybe your maid's daughter or the rag picker on the road and just present him with the pleasure of reading and learning.

4) Go to a nearby village or areas which await the joy of reading and distribute them books. photocopied or picture or pamphlet books. They need not be expensive or with long stories.

5) There is huge content available on the net which means you have access to stories on your laptops, ipads, mobile phones etc. Download and share it around.

Or you can JOIN THEM DIRECTLY BY :

1) Read about them @ Pratham books

2)If you would like to be a part of Read India Movement as a writer, illustrator, publisher or volunteer, email then at info@prathambooks.org or click here or more details.

3) There are many other ways in which you can help like library in a village, fund a book, teach for India etc. Check it out here @ Engage

As I mentioned before its not just about the right to education but the right to imagination! 
Before ending I would like to leave you with a thought

children are like water

bottle them up and they stagnate

let them run wild and they make a mess

guide then and they

bring life to all they touch!

Franklin Templeton Investments partnered the TEDxGateway Mumbai in December 2012.

Hear Rohini Nilekani (founder chairperson of Pratham Books) talk on the same issue in the video clip below. Youtube link :http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHqFGA78sEU

They Showed me the right path....

When it comes to learning and growing not just in age but wisdom too, I think that my own suffering have been the greatest of all teachers.
As Charles Dickens said 'suffering has been stronger than all other teaching and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but I hope - into a better shape'.
No pain we suffer goes useless. It teaches us patience, humility, compassion, faith, confidence. Its only after shedding tears that the road ahead seems clearer.

It is also true that in these moments of trouble and trials does our real attitude stand out. Being a medical student I come across tens of patients and their despaired family members each day as they are scattered throughout the hospital. Each one of them waiting to get rid of his agony and distress.

Last month I had been posted to a government hospital in Delhi as a part of my 3rd year curriculum. I was supposed to collect the blood samples of 'bed no. 12' - female ward that day. So with all the necessary instruments like syringe and collecting vials etc. I made my way to the ward. On reaching the bed to my surprise the patient, a girl of about 17 years was surrounded by other inmates of the room.She was narrating them something and they all laughed. And the wards which are usually a gloomy place was filled with laughter and zest.

As I took her blood samples I tried to strike a conversation with her. (We are even taught to do the same with any patient in order to divert their attention while pricking a needle).
She told me that she was a student of class 12th and had secured a good 90%. She aspired to be a doctor and had toiled hard for the entrances the whole year but this unwelcoming illness made her miss all the entrances which meant she would have to wait for another year to be able to get admission in a college.

After taking the samples I ordered her to take rest and not talk much. She spoke again 'laughter is the best medicine, isn't it? I am helping myself and others get well soon' :)
I was amazed at her spirit and determination. How subtly did she made me learn that not only being happy is indeed the best medicine but its our outlook to things that makes all the difference.

Life in the capital city of India is so fast paced and busy. There is no time to stop and stare. A slit- throat competitive atmosphere prevails everywhere. I travel by DTC everyday and undoubtedly catching a bus is an extremely tedious task. You are pushed and crushed.The drivers halt the buses way ahead the directed mark. People literally want to grab and kick you out to 'edge' a place in the ever increasing number of commuters.

It was amidst such a scenario one day that I saw a lady in her 60's trying in vain to clutch the bus door handle.
But then suddenly a guy in his 20's who was standing beside me on the bus stop ran and not only shouted on the driver to stop the bus but also climbed and helped the woman get into the bus. The lady was moved to tears as she blessed the boy and thanked him.

As I and many others witnessed this incident, not just today but almost everyday I held my head in shame. And realized that its easy to crib and point out mistakes but to see a change we need to create it.

As we walk forward to shoulder bigger responsibilities we should never forget the lines learnt back in pre-school days: 

 "little deeds of kindness

little words of love

help to make our earth an Eden

like the heaven above".

And lastly an incident which was the first one to come in my mind when I read the topic.
It happened about 15 years back when I was around 7 years old but as they say that some incidents teach us lesson of a lifetime and no matter what they remain imprinted in our memories forever.

My uncle was about 65 years old then. He was a man of great principles and a thorough disciplinarian.
He would often come to our house and take us for shopping or to nearby places. We obviously liked him dearly.
On one such day, he decided to take us to the nearby book shop.The shop was a 20 minutes drive from our house.
While coming back in the autorickshaw we got stuck in a huge traffic jam. Uncle had an appointment at 5 PM and realizing he was already late, as he had to drop us and then go to his place he paid off the auto and decided to walk us to the house for it was only a 5 minutes walk from there. Since mobile phone were not common in those days so he had no way to inform anyone.

As we walked, suddenly a large stone on the road made uncle lose his balance and he fell down getting severely injured. later that week, he left for his heavenly abode.
I still remember his words that 'what better could it be to die for those morals and principles on which you have lived your entire life'.And uncle truly did that.
Now whenever I am running later I remember his punctuality and make it a point to at least inform the person waiting for me. I strive hard to live on and sustain my principles and beliefs just like him. And I am sure that when he sees me from up there he smiles and is so happy to know that I learnt what I saw and inculcated it in my life too!

I am sharing what 'I Saw and I Learnt' at BlogAdda.com in association with DoRight.in.

Let them blossom!

Have you ever noticed

those delicate little hands

who polish your shoes

prodigious you stand

Have you ever noticed

in the mayhem of town

weavers of dreams 

you curse upon and frown

Have you eve noticed

bright twinkling eyes

while they mop the floor

in a hope to rise

Have you ever noticed

the zest in their hearts

when they serve you silently

and you leave them to starve

Have you ever noticed

those burnt fingers

in your noise and celebration

their pain lingers

Have you ever noticed

the teary eyes

when you abuse and stab

pleasing your mighty pride

Have you ever noticed

the innocent why's

you left them to be gobbled

in a handful of lies

Have you ever noticed

the trembling bud

when you harassed her

and threw in a mud

Have you ever noticed

the dolls you carry

when for materialistic whims

you forced her to marry

Have you ever noticed

the sweat they shed

not to read and learn

but to beg instead

Have you ever noticed

the severity of your crime

selling the priceless pearls

for less than a dime

Have you ever noticed

when a boy you sodomize

its not just him

but a generation you victimize

Have you ever noticed

that you noticed not

little blossoming flowers

our worlds garden has got

Notice them now!

running wild and free

they are our greatest gift

nurturing them is victory!

Clothes - the 'masked' culprits

So you are out shopping with your friend in that LBD to buy another LCD (no not TV, its little cute dress you idiot)? Great I say but then why sneer when those ugly jerks fix their gaze hard at you? 
If you claim all rights to wear what you wish even they can command of every right to see 'whatever' they desire. No?

'Prevention is better than cure'- an age old adage we all know. But unfortunately most of us visualize prevention as a task too tedious and thereby calmly ignoring it until trouble bangs loud on our doors.

When it comes to protecting our selves as women we insist on carrying 'pepper sprays' and learning techniques of martial arts, which is all good undoubtedly but in the picture of larger things we forget of the basic tools nature and society conjointly has granted us - The right as well as freedom to 'cover ourselves'!

Yes clothes have been and will always be the greatest tool the greatest weapon against perverted and lascivious eyes especially in a country like ours where mindset is too reluctant to change.

No matter the extent of hue and cry one makes over upgrading your thoughts certain things are embedded within the very soil and society.

Choose what you wear wisely!!

Let me present you with a situation to explain things in a more coherent manner. If a madmen leaps onto you every time he sees you with a stick what would you do?
Would you continue appearing in front of him with the authority and so-called rights or would you rather opt a wiser and level headed way to tackle him?

The issue in hand is pretty much analogous. Hurling stones and sticks at a madmen would do no good and neither would trespassing the laws of nature. If you are so keen on exercising your rights and responsibilities then opt for modesty in how you present yourselves instead of giving those leering eyes all advantage to see what lies within you. 

I dare not say that this will deter the diseased minds from spreading dirt but we as women should not foster the obscenity in them.

Not long ago there was an incident of a little girl being raped because the guy reportedly had got all 'charged up' seeing a barely clad lady minutes ago. Here, I am in no way advocating the guy's action as acceptable but merely mentioning the repercussions and reactions of your actions and attire.

I know many of you will dismiss my thoughts as retrogressive since skimpy clothes today are almost De rigour but so is rape and eve-teasing my friends!
And if you accept that what you wear defines who you are to a great extent then denying the fact that our clothes play no role in how people around us see and feel about us would be so hypocritical.

This in no way means that dressing is directly connected to crimes like rapes but your attire is definitely related to how you are perceived. Why complain of being labelled as 'sex objects' when you proudly show cleavages in public places? 

Once we start appreciating the power of a modest dressing, the freedom one gains from it and your right to be respected rather leered at am sure many a things will jump up on the right path!

And in the end I quote Margaret Hale to sum it up all so elegantly:

“One of the first evidences of a real lady, is that she should be modest. By modesty we mean that she shall not say, do, nor wear anything that would cause her to appear gaudy, ill-bred, or unchaste. There should be nothing about her to attract unfavorable attention, nothing in her dress or manner that would give a man an excuse for vulgar comment. When we dress contrary to the rule of modesty we give excuse for unwholesome thoughts in the mind of those who look upon us, and every girl who oversteps these bounds makes herself liable to misunderstanding and insult, though she may be innocent of any such intention.” 

Birthdays and celebrations....

The only good part about birthdays according to me are the in numerous calls and greetings. Unfortunately, with facebook colonizing our lives and minds this part too seems to be lost. Now all we see are mere half hearted 'wishes on the wall'!

Birthdays never excite me. Never got the feeling that this was 'my day' or anything remotely special. Not because I am traumatized by the thought of growing old but for a simple reason that what exactly be considered special in a day which comes again and again in each one of our lives? 
OK, you might defend me by saying that it marks our arrival into this world, in the lives of people around who consider you special yet I have my own beliefs which drag me to the other side.

This year however it was slightly different. As soon as the clock stuck 12, there was this episode of calls and wishes which lasted till 1.30 a.m.
As I hit my bed, pretty tired and 'least' excited sleep was no where in sight. Usually its my habit whenever sleep eludes me on a night I either sit up with my diary and pen, scribbling and rambling or if am too tired I simply lie down and introspect on mysterious paths of life. I chose the latter on this day too. My mind was conspiring with my heart of how to feel special about growing up or rather 'the day'.

It was quarter to 4 now and suddenly a thought hit me. (yes, such are the occasions when this phrase exactly fits in coz sometimes certain thought literally 'hit you up' !)

 I realized that our birthday is the only day which is FIXED yet TRANSIENT in our lives. Fixed not because it comes each year (all dates do) but fixed for it will always be a benchmark of all that I learn and become. Like a ray, with a fixed beginning but no ending
.
 And transient for it makes me realize that age IS time. It comes and goes and never comes back again. We can never so accurately and fairly take account of time and age as can we do on this day- our birthday.

It may sound contradictory to some. It may also appear as bickering to some.
But for me I don't celebrate my growing up instead I celebrate the fixed and the transient moments embedded in this day.

What do you celebrate on/about your birthday? Do let me know! :)

Social networking- our lives

Remember your recent trip to Goa or the get together with old pals last week? Your first kiss where you kissed again and again until the camera accepted it as 'worthy of being shared'? Your kids first birthday or your 15th marriage anniversary? Whats that one thing which remains common on all such occasions?

The one and only, the show stealer (literally!) - thy 'camera' *applause*

Each one of us lives either inside our Facebook and twitter profiles today or the phone inbox and whats app messengers. Sharing every gulp of water, every beat of our heart,each step we take and all moves we make has now become a subconscious action or to put it more bluntly, an obsession, a compulsion!

We fail to pay attention to what happens right before our eyes because updating the latest 'nail paint' colour seems more important.

Its been ages that one saw a sunset or a sunrise (rainbows are confined only to books anyways) because tweeting a random PJ is a priority.

But in the vicinity of all these updates flashing out at a lightening speed, a question worth pondering exists. That is - 'WHO REALLY CARES'

Who cares whether you are in Goa or in your bedroom? whether it was your 15th or 25th anniversary? how old is your kid or of what shape was his birthday cake? your nail paint colour..blah...blah!

of course YOU do care and a few, very few others who genuinely are interested in you ( I dare say, your nail paint colour) .

And the next, even more potent issue is - are those real, blissful moments of your life worth only a few 10s or 100s of 'likes' and vague comments like nice, awesome, fab, amazing, love or <3, wow , 'Epic'?
ERR!! I hope not! :/

Then WHY (why for Mark Zuckerberg's sake!) are we so keen on 're-taking' our first kiss, going in for picture perfect make-up, flashing the most camera friendly (fake) smiles instead of 'living' the moment and letting the happiness seep in?

Frankly speaking the concept of facebook appears to me to as nothing but a vast room where each one of us is shouting every single personal detail about themselves, least bothered to hear or pay attention to what others have to say. Why are we then so fascinated to be a part of this selfish and moronic world?

This reminds me of an Urdu couplet by Allama Iqbal

'hai dil ke liye maut machin'on ki hukumat

ehsaas-e-murawwat ko kuchal dete hai alaat'

( Rule of machines is death to our hearts

They are weapons which destroy all feelings and emotions)

Truly, technology is nothing but a double edged sword. It can let you be the master but all the same time it has a power to kill you too. And we all know that such a sword can never rule without harming the master.
have we reached the stage of self destruction or have we not?

Do not Google this...ASK YOURSELF!!

Rise and shine !!

o' woman of today

you fragile creature

know that you are strong

silence not your powers any more

For ages they have misused you

took your patience for granted

know that you too can speak

silence not your voice any more

every now and then

they victimize and torture one of you

know that you have an identity

silence not your respect any more

crushing your desires

they boast of control

know that you have a life

silence not your rights any more

though you be dainty

withholding your potential

know that you are not weak

silence not your strengths any more

The world exists at your feet

they must never ignore it

know that you are the begetter

silence not your might any more

patriarchy shouldn't mean oppression

you are no slave to them

know that you stand equal

silence not your pride any more

o' woman of today

stand up for yourself

know that you are the most wonderful creation

silence not your existence any more!

PS: Crimes, criminals, perverts, cowards, debauchees, barbarics - deal with them NOT with silence! 

HAIL HUMANITY !!

'The human race has improved everything, but the human race' -Adlai Stevenson

We have a subject called FMT ( Forensic Medicine and Toxicology) as a part of our 2nd year Medical curriculum.
It basically deals with interpreting and establishing facts in civil and criminal law cases by the medical knowledge and knowing the underlying cause of death .
 As a part of this subject we students are asked to maintain a record of various crimes and transgressions ranging from murders/suicides/blasts to rapes/accidents/infamous conduct by doctors and so on in the form of newspaper clippings.

Now initially when we were handed this large 50 sheet file, my first reaction was how would I fill in these pages? It is impossible to find such extensive collection of criminal happenings and that too under so many sub-headings and that it was simply out of question to gather the articles in such a short span of 1 academic year.

But syllabus and files HAVE to be completed and so we took possession of it with utter hopelessness.
A month ahead to my extreme surprise and disgust at the same time I could identify not just one but several articles in the newspaper each day!

Come another month and many sections like rape, transportation injuries, criminal abortions, suicides and murders were already flooding with clippings and cuttings and managing them in a single page seemed to be daunting task now.

While I was obviously happy at my timely completion of work, the grim and gruesome scenario has left me anxious and furious.
Why are we heading towards such barbarism?
Is a socially civilized and tolerant society nothing more than a distant dream?
Are rights of fellow humans simply an on-paper pseudo political agenda?
 Has humanitarianism ceased to exist?
These and in numerous other questions envelop my mind every time I sit down to read and gather newspaper articles.

Where lies the role of education and reason- gifted minds? I fail to believe that we humans are the most superior and developed of all creatures.

If we can kill for money and stab someone to death in anger, if we can forget our duties and neglect our responsibilities, if cannot respect woman and uphold morals, if words like truth, justice and tolerance are mere words for us then where lies that difference between us and our ancestors hundreds of years prior to us?

I know my writing this wont make a zilch of a difference to atleast most of us. Coz majority believes that we are humble humans of a civilized society and the rest of us do not care to introspect where the world is heading to for its a matter too trifling to ponder upon.

I however still decided to write this as a part of my own duty. As Martin Luther King Jr. said "An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity".

I strongly feel its time that I and those who wish to seek a change wake up to overlook within rather seek to understand and act for issues that are in interest of all humanity.

Leaving you all with what Carlos Fuentes said "There must be something beyond slaughter and barbarism to support the existence of mankind and we must all help search for it".

Its time that we start this search. Its time indeed.

For better, for worse....!!!

We live in a country where 'love' and 'marriage' are considered two issues poles apart. While marriage is considered to be a family affair, love is still looked down upon as an act of misdeed. And it is due to this disparity that 'love' and 'arrange' marriage hold a debatable position in the Indian society.
Now everyone can have a different understanding of the two so before proceeding to provide reason and opinions firstly I would like to define them.

A love marriage according to me is the one in which individuals themselves choose their life partner which means that the decision is purely a personal one and often not acceptable to the respective families. The reasons for which may vary from differences in caste/religion to social status.

On the other hand in an arranged marriage its the parents who decide the person their son/daughter would get married to. So in this case the individuals may or may not have known each other earlier but the families are consenting and mutually agreeing to connect.

'Love-cum-arranged' is a pleasant amalgamation of the two and in my opinion can be a very successful event owing to mutual understanding of all those involved. The debate we have here is however,between 'love' and 'arrange'.

Now the basic point is- in an arranged marriage all decisions are collectively discussed in contrast to love marriage where individuals decide their future. A collective opinion coming from more experienced members of both families definitely holds better chances of survival and success than an individual one.

Moving ahead, we all know that marriage is a bond of lifetime (at least in a country like India) but no one can spend their entire life being dependant on a single person no matter how much you love him/her. We all need relation and support of other people and not just the spouse to lead a truly happy and satisfactory life. Which is usually missing in a love marriage at least in the initial years.

Moreover, in case of any clashes or friction between the couple, which is inevitable they have their elders and naturally wiser people of the family to guide and advice in the arrange marriage set-up which tends to save them from a lot of problems.

No doubt that in love marriage the bride and groom have known each other from a certain time span and there is trust and understating but they also have 'pre-built' hopes and expectations of their better half.
On the contrary in arrange marriage the two individuals can only 'presume' that the decision taken by their elders is a good one. So after marriage when things begin to get 'real' and attributes like tolerance and patience give a back seat to love, expectations begin to tear apart. The individuals begin to feel 'this is not the person I decided to marry' . That's when love marriage attains an extremely vulnerable position and a series of ego clashes and disappointments may crop up.

In arrange marriage too the disappointments and ego clashes can occur but the blame automatically is forced on the 'deciding elders' and 'destiny' rather than the spouse which saves the situation to a great extent. Also the two individuals try and overlook a lot of differences knowing well that it takes time to develop understanding and healthy frequency between to newly met people.

There also is a sense of insecurity and added responsibility in case of love marriage as the burden of all blames and accountability of all actions is totally singular.
In arranged one, the blame and accusations seems to be a collective fault since the decision was a collective one.
Another point favouring arranged marriage is something called the 'initial spark' which develops after the couples get to know each other and gradually tend to get familiar. Each day is a surprise and mystery since you are in process of discovering your partner.

In love marriage however the initial spark goes missing and marriage comes as a point where the time for mushy romance is spaced up for mundane responsibilities, although the sense of security and trust maybe much more in this case the missing spark does make it appear bland and monotonous.

Belonging to a family where arrange marriages out do love marriages in number, I have seen them to be immensely successful and blissful. You should trust that your parents can never take decision that's not in the best of your interests. And since both the individuals realize that now they have been tied for a lifetime so the rights and duties somehow find a place even before love comes into picture which only strengthens the bond of admiration and respect in future.

As for those who feel that how can the most important decision of 'who I would spend my life with me decided by others' I'd say - life is game of chance rather than choices and those big and small chances that we take each day makes this experience a marvelously exciting and magically enchanting one !!

PS : The above opinions are strictly personal. I am not against love marriages but would prefer an arranged one over them. The bottom line however is, that for any relation to be successful and long lasting mutual understanding and trust marks the first step follwed by love and patience.
PS 2 : While exploring google image search I found this image particularly amusing ;)

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