There is Music in the Night

Nights always arrive with a depth. An aura which becomes visible only when you walk with the darkness, hand in hand.

Night is a story in itself. A destiny which unfolds. A life within life.

In such depth there is so much to understand and hear. 

Darkness presents itself in rhythms. 

There is a strange sort of divine music sung by the night. 

As the sun sets and dusk breaks, the hues of earth's layer begin to change. Enveloping in darkness. A deep one.

As time passes, these hues yearn to be unfolded.

The tunes yearn to to be played.

Music is a divine thing. And silence is sacred. When music and silence combine, you are bestowed with the gift of night. 

There are innumerable mysteries waiting to be solved. So many questions waiting to be answered. So many turmoils waiting to be detangled. The chaos waiting to subside. 

Every such feeling awaits the calmness and songs of the dusk. 

"As I stand facing the dark

Chaos unclogs slowly

In the stillness of night

I bare my self and soul

Creatures hide in depths

An owl with a bright eye

Whisperings of nothing

Silence speaks slowly

Listening to the music

Rhythms joyful and tragic

Aura and mysterious voices

Night leaps ahead and afar

Voices of my soul speak

To fears crept in 

and uncertainties swinging

Giving me respite, solace

Soon night hurries up

Entwining destiny's games

Preparing for a new day

I am left dumbstruck

I wish to say to the songs

Don't leave so early

Leaving me confused

In the hands of a cruel day

Stubborn it is,listens never

Dawn begins to fall

Tired I lay in a slumber

Dreaming of another night".

For majority of the world, the rising sun brings in positive energy and hopefulness. 

They feel that after the dark times there is a brighter and new day to look forward to. 

However night lovers prefer to differ. 

For those who adore and admire night, the beginning of dawn seems a cruel sight.

They feel that the sun rise has crushed their dreams with the brightness of reality. 

The real world which is rude and emotionless. 

The real world which is shallow and selfish. 

The very thought of parting with the night and its music is painful to them, every single morning. 

That is why, they make an effort to be with it as much as they can because once sleep seeps in, night will slowly creep out.

The profoundness and calm of a night is indeed addictive. 

Once your soul gets used to the music and divinity of the night, your heart will compel you to stay awake even though the world peacefully dreams away.

If at times you are not able to do it, your heart will ache for it like lovers in distance ache for each other. And your soul will yearn for it like the souls yearns for his beloved soulmate. 

Such is the power of night. Its music. Its silence. Its calm. Its depth. Its aura.

 

This blog post is inspired by the blogging marathon hosted on IndiBlogger for the launch of the #Fantastico Zica from Tata Motors. You can apply for a test drive of the hatchback Zica today.

Impact of kindness

"Kindness is a language the a dumb can speak and a dead can understand". 

The power of a gesture is beyond the comprehension of a human mind. It may seem very trivial and we all are hearing it since time immemorial. A gentle touch, a kind smile, little help but these acts of good will have an unexplainable impact on fellow beings. 

We have always heard stories of kindness. Wherein, a kind word changed someone's heart or a slight gesture of love and care was so impactful that it melted some one's soul. 

I remember reading a story where a girl had recently shifted to a new place. With new people, new place she was simply unable to adjust herself. She had also had some trouble in the recent past.

She went to school each day only to find that all her classmates had their own 'groups and friends' and no one really bothered to befriend her. She felt lonely c

All of it had made her extremely depressive. 

One day, precisely a day before christmas she felt extremely sad and uncared for. So she decided to commit suicide.

She wrote a letter to her family and others to tell them her condition and was determined to give her life that day. 

As she came out to post the suicide letter she had written, suddenly she found a card on her name. 

She was shocked and surprised. When she opened it she found it was a card from a guy at school who wanted to be her friend and had invited her to christmas party tomorrow. 

This gave her a new hope and she ditched the idea of suicide that day. 

Amazing isn't it? What a deep impact just a little care and love had on her mind! It saved her life. Gave her hope. 

But what if she hadn't opened the letter box? Or what if she had continued the implementation of her plans? 

Here comes the catch. Undoubtedly, the power and impact of every single act of kindness and love is remarkable but we need to be receptive. 

Being receptive means that we should keep our hearts and hope open to such acts and gestures. 

We should be ready to accept and have faith. 

We should be ready to give and take. 

The impact can only be created and sustained if people keep on giving as much as they receive and vice versa. 

Also, we should try to be kind and caring as much as possible. You don't know how many lives you can touch and heal just by these little gestures.

Faith is a very important aspect of it all. If you have your hopes and trust high, things will get easier for you. 

We all receive our share of love, kindness and care. Now its upto us whether we want to let it pass by unnoticed or whether we open ourselves to let it create the desired impact on us. 

The choice is yours. 

This blog post is inspired by the blogging marathon hosted on IndiBlogger for the launch of the #Fantastico Zica from Tata Motors. You can apply for a test drive of the hatchback Zica today.

Navigating through our souls...

"Whatever you are physically...male or female, strong or weak, ill or healthy--all those things matter less than what your heart contains. If you have the soul of a warrior, you are a warrior. All those other things, they are the glass that contains the lamp, but you are the light inside". - Cassandra Clare

Life is strange. It bestows on us new challenges each day. It makes sure that we keep on our toes and the warriors in us never gets tired. 

In this whole process of accepting challenges and fighting with the outside world we sometimes tend to forget our insides. What lies within us. Our souls. 

We fail to understand that no matter the problems we face, the conflicts that go around us, the issues we are forced to tackle, our soul always takes part in our fights. And that is why it is utmost important to nourish and replenish it. 

Replenishing the soul is hard and easy at the same. 

All it requires is a way to navigate through it. A way to seep and extract what goes in and the desires it harbours. 

Our soul isn't timid or weak. It is not even shy. It is simply too modest and too patient. It would never shout or nudge you every now and then to listen or understand its needs. It simply waits. Hopeful, that you will eye through. 

To understand its demands. To accept the realities you have been running from. To accept your own needs. To find the things which make you grow and heal and love

"The soul is placed in the body like a rough diamond, and must be polished, or the luster of it will never appear". -Daniel Defoe

Simply put you need to wade through your inner self. Navigate, trying to ascertain where you are and where you want to be. 

Just like while driving, we navigate to find the direction of a place we want to go. We take the help of technology and also listen to what our impulses say. It is by this collaboration that we are able to find our way with ease.

In a similar way, navigating through our souls is important to locate things which would help us move on the desired path. 

Surprising it is that if you part ways or forget to replenish the soul, life seems to be lost somewhere. 

It really gets difficult to cope up with the hardships and problems. 

We may give it any name. Call it depression, fear, sadness, gloom. All of it are just synonymous to this phenomenon of unnourished soul. 

The moment you understand it and begin to seek solace within, things start to get better. The process of 'soul navigation' is the cure you need. It is all the therapy that is required to bring you back to an equilibrium. To set you back on a healthy and happy life.

This blog post is inspired by the blogging marathon hosted on IndiBlogger for the launch of the #Fantastico Zica from Tata Motors. You can apply for a test drive of the hatchback Zica today.

The end of a tunnel...

Life is an amalgamation of uncountable moments. Some are forgotten and tugged beneath the winds of time while others are released slowly from our memories, dead and unimportant. However, a handful of them dominate the zillion others and they truly make an impression. Not just on our minds but also on our souls. These moments stand by you forever, ever ready to be remembered, to be played on and re- winded.

As I sit immersed in nostalgia holding a mug of coffee with both hands I am suddenly travelling along this impressionable moment back from my school days. It’s been almost 5 years now but whenever I encounter a wave of despair, I find myself immediately travelling to the year 2010. 

The year of utter hopelessness, disappointments, failures and just about everything that can pull you down. Low. Where there is nothing. Nothing except darkness, depth and dirt. Where begins life and where it meets its end. Ironical, isn't it?

 So I lay there, almost the whole of 2010. But by the time I entered the spring of next year, I was blooming. Blooming and brimming, with optimism. Just like that. The kind of optimism that continues to grow in me even now. You ask me how?

I will begin this story again.

It was in May that this realization dawned completely upon me. I had not been able to clear a single pre-medical test in spite of wasting an year doing rounds of coaching centers , madly turning the pages of over a fifty different books and burning the midnight oil each night.
 I felt I had reached a dead end. 
There was no way out. 
Until now I had believed in the dictum that ‘God never tests us beyond our capabilities’ but I had exhausted all my capabilities and God continued to test me. Fail me. Disappoint me.

 I used to cry every single night. Sometimes a silent sob, on other nights a loud animal wail. Praying to God to guide me. To magically let me fly through the end of this dark tunnel. 
No answers.

Then one day I chanced upon a story of a man whose wife had left him for another man and how he was taking care of his four kids and bearing the pain of this ditching lover. 
I read other story of a girl fighting OCD and an irresistible urge to cut and let herself bleed. Another, of a woman abandoned by her only son. 
Next, of a girl brutally raped by her husband. 
Another, then another.
That day I read almost a 100 stories of people suffering. Of people in despair and depression. In the middle of their own dark tunnels, fighting for a way out.

Suddenly my trouble seemed so meaningless and stupid. 
“Failing to clear a PMT, that’s all you've got?” I could hear my conscience ask me. 
I simply shrugged. Suddenly, I was able to see light! Yes! I could see a plethora of new avenues, new professions waiting to welcome me. 
I could feel the zeal to start afresh. I could feel optimism rushing through my blood.

This feeling of clearing an exam of hardships meant much more than clearing a meager medical test. I was exhilarated with a burst of positive energy.

It took a long year of ‘being nothing’ to be able to rise to a new morning of optimism. My moment of optimism. 

Now I truly believe that these moments of optimism are like the sun, they keep illuminating us and instilling this confidence that if we could survive it back then, why not today?

I am writing this piece in hope that maybe someone, somewhere needs to identify his moment of optimism today and this shall provide a much needed push. 
So you can shrug your problems off and bask in the glory of warm light that await you at the end of your tunnel. 
Good luck and much love!

Look up is making an effort to bring optimism into the world. Do check their page -housing.com/lookup

Sense of an ending...

Tears rushed through her lonely eyes

remains of a lost faith

piercing depths of her soul

this eerie sense of an ending

Cracked lips unable to tremble

silent sobs synchronous with beats

flowing like red in her veins

this eerie sense of an ending

A mayhem of incessant voices

murmuring from nowhere to nowhere

wrapping her like a volcano

this eerie sense of an ending

Crawling stealthy breath after breath

conspiring with time and mind

numbing her from toe to head

this eerie sense of an ending

Tightly gripping every muscle

twisted cords of realization and remorse

shaking her reason of existence

this eerie sense of an ending

Attaching firmly beneath her skin

million cells of painful memories

shielding all hope and happiness

this eerie sense of an ending

 Enveloping even her shadow

like the calmness of a night

terminating life moment by moment

this eerie sense of an ending. 
 

They Showed me the right path....

When it comes to learning and growing not just in age but wisdom too, I think that my own suffering have been the greatest of all teachers.
As Charles Dickens said 'suffering has been stronger than all other teaching and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but I hope - into a better shape'.
No pain we suffer goes useless. It teaches us patience, humility, compassion, faith, confidence. Its only after shedding tears that the road ahead seems clearer.

It is also true that in these moments of trouble and trials does our real attitude stand out. Being a medical student I come across tens of patients and their despaired family members each day as they are scattered throughout the hospital. Each one of them waiting to get rid of his agony and distress.

Last month I had been posted to a government hospital in Delhi as a part of my 3rd year curriculum. I was supposed to collect the blood samples of 'bed no. 12' - female ward that day. So with all the necessary instruments like syringe and collecting vials etc. I made my way to the ward. On reaching the bed to my surprise the patient, a girl of about 17 years was surrounded by other inmates of the room.She was narrating them something and they all laughed. And the wards which are usually a gloomy place was filled with laughter and zest.

As I took her blood samples I tried to strike a conversation with her. (We are even taught to do the same with any patient in order to divert their attention while pricking a needle).
She told me that she was a student of class 12th and had secured a good 90%. She aspired to be a doctor and had toiled hard for the entrances the whole year but this unwelcoming illness made her miss all the entrances which meant she would have to wait for another year to be able to get admission in a college.

After taking the samples I ordered her to take rest and not talk much. She spoke again 'laughter is the best medicine, isn't it? I am helping myself and others get well soon' :)
I was amazed at her spirit and determination. How subtly did she made me learn that not only being happy is indeed the best medicine but its our outlook to things that makes all the difference.

Life in the capital city of India is so fast paced and busy. There is no time to stop and stare. A slit- throat competitive atmosphere prevails everywhere. I travel by DTC everyday and undoubtedly catching a bus is an extremely tedious task. You are pushed and crushed.The drivers halt the buses way ahead the directed mark. People literally want to grab and kick you out to 'edge' a place in the ever increasing number of commuters.

It was amidst such a scenario one day that I saw a lady in her 60's trying in vain to clutch the bus door handle.
But then suddenly a guy in his 20's who was standing beside me on the bus stop ran and not only shouted on the driver to stop the bus but also climbed and helped the woman get into the bus. The lady was moved to tears as she blessed the boy and thanked him.

As I and many others witnessed this incident, not just today but almost everyday I held my head in shame. And realized that its easy to crib and point out mistakes but to see a change we need to create it.

As we walk forward to shoulder bigger responsibilities we should never forget the lines learnt back in pre-school days: 

 "little deeds of kindness

little words of love

help to make our earth an Eden

like the heaven above".

And lastly an incident which was the first one to come in my mind when I read the topic.
It happened about 15 years back when I was around 7 years old but as they say that some incidents teach us lesson of a lifetime and no matter what they remain imprinted in our memories forever.

My uncle was about 65 years old then. He was a man of great principles and a thorough disciplinarian.
He would often come to our house and take us for shopping or to nearby places. We obviously liked him dearly.
On one such day, he decided to take us to the nearby book shop.The shop was a 20 minutes drive from our house.
While coming back in the autorickshaw we got stuck in a huge traffic jam. Uncle had an appointment at 5 PM and realizing he was already late, as he had to drop us and then go to his place he paid off the auto and decided to walk us to the house for it was only a 5 minutes walk from there. Since mobile phone were not common in those days so he had no way to inform anyone.

As we walked, suddenly a large stone on the road made uncle lose his balance and he fell down getting severely injured. later that week, he left for his heavenly abode.
I still remember his words that 'what better could it be to die for those morals and principles on which you have lived your entire life'.And uncle truly did that.
Now whenever I am running later I remember his punctuality and make it a point to at least inform the person waiting for me. I strive hard to live on and sustain my principles and beliefs just like him. And I am sure that when he sees me from up there he smiles and is so happy to know that I learnt what I saw and inculcated it in my life too!

I am sharing what 'I Saw and I Learnt' at BlogAdda.com in association with DoRight.in.

Not just today.....

Its not today that you left me

a long time has passed

memories and memoirs have faded

in the ocean of life, big and vast.

Its not today that I cried

hiding myself in the dark

sobs and tears are a familiar part

and cuts that leave a mark.

Its not today that I pasted an empty smile

for the fake world to see

all they know is a happy girl

who cares what's going inside me.

Its not today that I tried to let go

all that life bestowed

in the form of sufferings and pain

and hurdles on the road.

Its not today that I accepted

what life presented to me

you and I were different people

and were never meant to be 'we'.

Its not today that I heard 'let go and move on'

from folks to whom it matters not

time can never be a healer

but a mere illusionary guard.

Birthdays and celebrations....

The only good part about birthdays according to me are the in numerous calls and greetings. Unfortunately, with facebook colonizing our lives and minds this part too seems to be lost. Now all we see are mere half hearted 'wishes on the wall'!

Birthdays never excite me. Never got the feeling that this was 'my day' or anything remotely special. Not because I am traumatized by the thought of growing old but for a simple reason that what exactly be considered special in a day which comes again and again in each one of our lives? 
OK, you might defend me by saying that it marks our arrival into this world, in the lives of people around who consider you special yet I have my own beliefs which drag me to the other side.

This year however it was slightly different. As soon as the clock stuck 12, there was this episode of calls and wishes which lasted till 1.30 a.m.
As I hit my bed, pretty tired and 'least' excited sleep was no where in sight. Usually its my habit whenever sleep eludes me on a night I either sit up with my diary and pen, scribbling and rambling or if am too tired I simply lie down and introspect on mysterious paths of life. I chose the latter on this day too. My mind was conspiring with my heart of how to feel special about growing up or rather 'the day'.

It was quarter to 4 now and suddenly a thought hit me. (yes, such are the occasions when this phrase exactly fits in coz sometimes certain thought literally 'hit you up' !)

 I realized that our birthday is the only day which is FIXED yet TRANSIENT in our lives. Fixed not because it comes each year (all dates do) but fixed for it will always be a benchmark of all that I learn and become. Like a ray, with a fixed beginning but no ending
.
 And transient for it makes me realize that age IS time. It comes and goes and never comes back again. We can never so accurately and fairly take account of time and age as can we do on this day- our birthday.

It may sound contradictory to some. It may also appear as bickering to some.
But for me I don't celebrate my growing up instead I celebrate the fixed and the transient moments embedded in this day.

What do you celebrate on/about your birthday? Do let me know! :)

'Tryst with a night'

This is not the first time that I sit under the open sky admiring its vastness. Stars like dew on delicate petals attract me ever since I learnt to recite 

'Twinkle, twinkle little star

how I wonder what you are

up above the world so high

like a diamond in the sky'

Back then and even today I genuinely wonder what they are? Keeping aside the elaborate and complex explanations presented in the physics textbooks, that's not alluring in the least!

I visualize them through the depth of my eyes and the window of my soul. I trust them more than the complicated and ever changing theories of physics. However it still is a mystery. A mystery that unfolds every night. Night after night.

To me its a different world. A world so serene, a world so secure. Why can't the stars and the mushy breeze stay with me, within me forever?

They say that after every night comes a bright day but it never sounds pleasing to me.Instead I want to be blanketed in the laps of this night. Caressed by the winds and protected by the sky.

This tryst with the night is ever so beautiful, so fascinating and so mysterious.

Plunging into the colossal sky I experience freedom and let my mind wander with those mysteries. hugging them tight.

Walking over the known and the unknown together is a passion infinitely pleasurable.

Gossiping into the ear of night those little words of joy and sorrow, the turmoils of the sun.

I have trusted this tryst with innumerable songs. The soft winds press upon me kisses so enchanting that I touch the divine and the divine swathes me.

PS - Written on one such night....this tryst continues till the suns ray breaks my reverie....

The ugly side of beauty....

When God created humans, he did his best to be fair. Sprinkling carefully and wisely equal proportions of attributes so that each one of us can feel 'exquisite and beautiful'.

Man however has been in a habit of complicating things. Simple and apparently easily comprehensible things tend to distract him and he takes a path of complications. And so he deviated from this simplified version of God's granted beauty and confined it to merely a 'visual delight'.

This crooked definition of beauty has slowly been transformed into a necessary evil and humans today struggle mindlessly to grab a 'portion' while carelessly overlooking what was originally granted to them.

From Botox to liposuction, fairness creams to laser treatments we have senselessly been try to possess something that has been already thrust upon us. And to top up the insensibility, we gullibles 'demand' and 'desire' the same artificial and altered beauty in others too. Dumping away the real radiance.

He aspires to be tall, she dreams to be thin, his ambition is to get that athletic built and being fair is her desire!

We are vainly running to pick out an ingredient knowing little that our recipe of beauty is not just faulty but tasteless and ugly.

Endless advertisements with almost perfect faces, endorsing products to transform you into something which the creator himself did not feel fit to grant you. Sounds bizarre. isn't it?

When the artist or a writer decided NOT to bestow a certain trait or colour in the protagonist or painting, how can we as a reader and an on-looker 'artificially' apply them later?

But the social milieu and its hollow expectations have clogged our reasoning and logic to sheer opacity.

I doubt if much can be done to revert back from this track we have been walking blindfolded yet with 'élan'.

Alas! The botox beauty has occupied our minds and only serious retrospection can drain it away.

It might appear pessimistic on my part to end this post on a negative note but even after a lot of reasoning I couldn't come up with solutions that can be helpful for this is not a community or country issue, it rests with generation gone, the present one and the ones that shall live after us.

If only the actual beauty of each individual can be unveiled. If only we try and search that radiance within and around us those things of beauty would truly be joyous forever!

What do you think?!

...the last gasp...

 

Endless steps

I climb

darker dungeons

breathlessness

the last gasp...

O where did I leave

my own self

amidst uncertain 

promises

the last gasp...

In the flowing river

I crawl helplessly

up and down

to reach no where

the last gasp...

Crumbled dreams

in a wounded box

rip it apart

let me escape

the last gasp...

Royal curtains

beaded and stoned

aren't pretty anymore

tear them apart

the last gasp...

Blood rushes

in and out

profuse and red

momentary respite

the last gasp...

Silence murdered

the soul inside

a gush of air

and it all ends

the last gasp....

Ice.

I have reached a state
when desires seem to melt away.

When the flame of reality is so powerful
all illusions seem to retreat.

When the sting of past pains is so strong
expectations seem to comatose.

Life is still - hushed by nothing, spirited by none

No passions to overrule, no desires to out rule.

The silence is so loud
neither clock ticks, nor the heart beats.

There is nothing to lose and I am winning nothing. 

For victory and defeat aren't game enough for such tranquility.

The wheel of time turns not, no breeze blows, waves seize to touch the shore.

Sorrows of past affect me not and future holds no promises for me.

No evil spirits or Angels guard me.
I have neither friends nor foes.

There are only mirrors, those endless reflecting surfaces
whose ray pave their way to one place - Me

But, this is not an end...not even a beginning...

then what exactly is it?

Time- where art thou ?

While reading a book which spoke of pre-British raj India which also meant pre- modern, technology devoid days. When fans instead of mobile phones toggled in common man's hand and live 'mujras' supplemented entertainment in contrast of cozy T.V sets and multiplexes of today.

What astonished and amazed me was not just the simplicity of life then but also the fact that virtues like wisdom and concentration reigned as an everyday existence.

The people's day then could accommodate almost everything ranging from their everyday chores to flying pigeons and words like 'procrastination' or 'stress' had no meaning.

What stuck me was why can't we, the so-called impatient and super fast, ultra modern, tech savvy generation find 'real' time in the same 24 hours of the day? Why words like 'stress' and 'depression' are hovering even on the minds of a 12 year old? Going by logic and basic sense,our lives should not just have been turmoil free but also with an abounding of leisure time at our disposal.

Contrary to it we are sleep deprived even when Google does our researches for us, got no time to spare for our relatives or return back calls even when writing letters has been replaced by SMSs and instant messages.

My grandmother often tells me that during her youth people waited endlessly, counting day after day as to when a new week or month would arrive. While today an hour passes at a lightening speed and so does an year! Some 70 days left to bid adieu to 2011, whatever happened to the remaining 295 days?

It seems as if 'time' suffers from an auto immune disorder- gobbling its own self!

Where on earth is this 'commodity' called time vanishing?

And whats even more relevant is how can we hold it back?  

Wouldn't it be great if we could live in timelessness?

Well, coming to 'timelessness'. It indeed is a very complex subject in itself. But after much contemplation I realized that this is the only way to 'live effectively in time' and 'use time in the most effective manner.'

Literally speaking timelessness means - eternal , ageless or immortal. Although it has much more to offer just like alchemy and astrology had to offer to the human race.

To live is timelessness within time means to to live in moments and each moments separate of the previous or the next. All those who have some idea of quantum mechanics would appreciate that its nature is in similarity with the dual nature of light which comes in to us packets (the particle theory) , each one separate of the other yet we see light is a ray. That's how timelessness too connects those distinct moments.

If we try to concentrate NOT on the ticking of clock second by second but on moments we live, utilizing each of these packet (moments) to the best of our ability with the faith that whatever we have right now is what JUST exists we will see that not only will our productivity increase but our concentration spans will soar high too. Probably then 24hours if not enough, will at least give us a sense of accomplishment and fullness.

And 'time' will earn its true value in our lives once again.

PS : This post is far from over. The concept may sound weird to many of the readers. I will try and elaborate more on this concept in my coming post.And do let me know what is your idea of 'timelessness' and how do you perceive the existence of such a thing. 

Plus this analogy of timelessness to particle nature of light is purely my own perception so if you find any loop holes do let me know!

Its a climb....

I know people change. Change so subtly that is takes days to believe the existence of something that was imperceptible before.

I know people turn their back.I have seen them hiding their faces like the evening sun which dips ever so slowly somewhere in the horizon and darkens all that's around, while you stand patiently for the dingy light to be thrust upon.

I know people back stab.I have felt them poking those incessant punches on me like the merciless winds in a vast, hot, sandy desert which away extracts all moisture and vitality and depresses one deep in the restless sand.

I know it because life blessed me with relations and thrust upon me the intricacies of dealing with people. People who promised to never change and relations which were as sturdy as huge mountains. But nothing can change the nature of change for it has to change!

And its no more surprising yet an irony as to how the most toughest of glasses shatter easily. Promises that define our being, are our strengths and hope dissolve as soon as we lean onto them perfectly.

I know it because I have leaned onto such promises completely and in a few moments there was a loud thud. so loud that it lost its audibility maybe. For nobody heard anything. But I know it because I felt the silence.

A missing part.

A dissolved promise. 

A dead relation.

Its at times surprising as to how relations build up. The sweetness tends to be dissolved in innumerable and never ending expectations. 

Expectations that climb a ladder of shattering hopes and broken promises.The trouble is we cant do much about it. Its spontaneous. No matter how tough you appear to be, you are bound to expect and be disappointed in return. I know it coz I have had my share of shattered hopes and expectations.

And not just for once but innumerable times.

I wont label my life as one of extraordinary pain or change but yes, I can proudly say that I have had my share till now. No wonder there is more to come. For the pages of destiny cant go blank.They have been filled with an ink that outlines my life. The fact is that I don't have a choice , neither does life have, we both are being played upon by something superior. For 

"he who makes my woes for me

will think about my woes

my brooding over them would be

a greater woe than those" :)

mystical dreams..... part -3

PART-1

PART-2

 "Its not just today

and never would a day come

when the world around

won't coerce me

that my existence is incomplete

without you besides me"

she whispered senselessly to her soul which appeared as insatiable as it had been years ago. 

yes! Many years had now passed but her relentless search only got deepened.

 Her friend had advised her to give it up and consult a psychiatrist however she knew well that no person by mere hallucinations or repressions could free her soul of it. 

A soul that was now completely drenched in that world of dreams. 

A soul that had now tasted the bitter sweet demeanour of forbidden magic.

she was totally possessed in it, of it and for it!! there was no way out except to wade in further.

This was NOT love, it had transformed into a limbo or maybe a state of trance which continued to get unquenchable each passing second.

she had left her job long back, her own house, family, belongings, whatever that belonged to her and to where she belonged was now simply a state...a state of nothingness and timelessness.

"the dawn is not distance, nor is the night starless;love is eternal".

she again murmured to herself trudging through by the glint of the night.

suddenly as if the whole words bedazzled or struck by lightening...she saw his face! 

It was really him standing on the other side of the road!

That same tall attractive gentleman dressed in a glossy black suit teamed with a navy blue tie..the same man who had stolen all her dreams to make them his own, that same man who dictated her entire being for years now!

She felt herself en captured by a divine spell in those long seconds, the world had widened much beyond horizons or was it shrinking onto hers?

There was pain , fright, desire, anger, impatience, irritation, excitement, pleasure all at once in her soul.

her quest had reached its brim and emotions ran like wild horses..'a few steps more and it will all be hers..this mystery would no longer haunt her soul' she thought.

He stood still at the opposite side staring at her even now.

1...2...3...she had galloped to the other side at an impulse!

crash!

xxxxx 

Her eyes open, where is she? At the middle of a road it seems!

She can feel something is wrong with her, her blood seems to ooze out slowly but there is no pain.

She lies there numb and dizzy but there was no desire to get away. Being completely aware of her fate and also the fate of the man beside her in deep slumber some distance away.

she looked at him..but alas! He is NOT there...she can now see him EVERYWHERE! all around, in all direction, at all ends!

she dare not close her eyes..is this an illusion? no it cant be!

Now he is beside her again, a faint smile lits her face as she finally closes her eyes. forever this time.

No more mirages.

No more mysteries.

Just the mystical kingdom of her dreams.

Illusions have accepted her soul in their world...realities could wait for another life now.

Hub( attraction) and Maut(Death) are but shades of an eternal journey called love!

xxx THE END xxx 

CREDITS: 

Ancient Arabic Literature says that there are Seven Shades of Love - 1. Hub (Attraction), 2. Uns (Infatuation), 3. Ishq (Love), 4.Aquidat (Reverence), 5. Ibadat (Worship), 6. Junoon (Obsession) and 7. Maut (Death) [ Read it as a friend's status on Facebook ]

Thanks to one of my sweetest friend in blog-o-sphere Sadiya Merchant for giving me the inspiration and much needed motivation to pen up something which was very close to my heart yet I had no idea how to put it up in words :-)