I walk on a road lush with dreams,
a road of forgotten and veiled dreams,
sometimes slowly, sometimes gaily,
sometimes lost, sometimes profound,
I walk a road of unknown mysteries,
fervently finding my way through the endless path.....

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Her spirit is a Miracle :)

I went to meet her today like usual. Her words stumbled more, her head shakes vigorously and she looked paler and weaker then ever before. Yet none of it has oppressed her valour. The smile she wears on her lips could warm a whole winter month. she is my friend Ishita and she suffers from multiple sclerosis (MS). in case you haven't heard about it , MS is a disease in which the nerves of the central nervous system (brain and spinal cord) degenerate.

I met Ishita about 7 years ago in our school summer camp , she was a girl of numerous talents. Be it quizzes or dramatics ,singing or group discussions , she managed to enthrall everyone with her performances. A jack of all trades and a master charmer as i called her.
Today, my heart throbs to see a girl so capable lie on a bed 24x7 , completely reliant on others and incapable of hushing even a little fly that sits on her nose.
We had continued to be in touch even after the camp , her health began deteriorating but she never gave up - with a spirit as mighty as a mountain she not only passed her 9th standard but stood amongst the top rankers of her class.

Today, her misery casts a gloom on me every time I think of her deplorable state.
It was sometime in July the same year , she called me up one day and with a low voice told me about her disease.I like her, wasn't mature enough to foresee what faith had hurled on the innocent soul that time. 'you will get well soon' I said and she responded with a 'sure , thanks i will hopefully' in a cheerful voice.

Its been four years and i throttle everytime i visit her , more so because i have seen her dance , sing, speak and live life like a normal teenager.Her health has been declining each passing day and no miracles may happen. Neither is her survival a miracle. 
But her spirit is phenomenal. The way she bravely accepts it all is a 'miracle'.
she is not a mentally retarded patient. she remembers her Past , can judge her present and knows that her future rests on the same bed yet the vital spark I notice in her , chills the nerves and leaves me astounded - its a 'miracle'.

It may not be supernatural , but her zest for life , her desire to create and dwell in optimism - its a 'miracle'.
The love she intwines , making everyone around adore her, willingly spending time even if it means to sit near a stinking bed and patiently listening the words that fall apart - it s a 'miracle'.
Her face radiates with sheer beauty and her power packed smile even when she urinates on the bed itself - its a 'miracle'.
she is special , very special and that's why maybe God chose her, not to show miracles. He made her a miracle itself.
my friend Ishita is a miracle and I marvel her spirits. 

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PS : I would like add something here , A cousin of mine too suffers from the same disease and she is an equally brave and wonderful soul. This story is dedicated to her too :)

Friday, January 21, 2011

Go ahead- live your life !

When a relation goes wrong our first reaction is one of an unperturbed viewer. we don't realize that it now breaths its last and very soon the dangling pieces will crash aloud leaving us alone. Maybe, our brain is malfunctioned to handle innumerable painful flushes of unexpected emotion and becomes numb for a while.

After the initial state of silence,the inertia takes its toll and every single change is resisted in its best possible yet least spirited manner.But the threads of that unhemmed relation keep on pulling up for who can stop it? One feels 'if only I hadn't said that' or 'If only I would have been able to do this'...knowing deep inside that all is and was in vain and when the end thread loses it hold..the pain , the anger and an array of uncontrolled , unknown ,unsaid sentiments sets in.

Every moment seems impassable and each little thing sings out the loveliest of memories loud and clear, breaking the heart a thousand times and wetting those eyes more. Life seizes to have a meaning and loneliness is both a respite and a dreaded feeling.
all one knows and believes is 'nothing can now make me better' and 'no matter how much time passes I will be falling more and more in this bottomless pit' and just as this belief cements permanently and firmly, life starts gathering reasons to get you up, to heal your soul and bring back a gift so precious to be wasted on anything and anyone -your life.

It never happens in a single day, like the making of a bond even breaking is equally untraceable but it just happens.The love returns, the smiles spread again and eyes now twinkle with another set of dreams.waiting to be heard, explored and made true.

Life has to go on and it sure moves on a road so bumpy,a little slow at one point and rushing alarmingly on the other, avoiding or rising above the hurdles.But that's what gives a destination where you reach and a meaning that you cherish.

It implores us to remember that "even if the whole world vanishes at some point of time you still live your breaths so how can life stop on a breaking of a bond"?  

It implores you to understand that  "Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.”

It implores you to accept that "You have to forgive to forget, and forget, to feel again.”

Go ahead - live your life :)

Monday, January 17, 2011

Of trains and passengers ....

OK! so I am back after a holiday but the hangover is yet to subside (as the title clearly models it).
I have always admired ( like many others) - train journeys. yes, the chuk-chuk gai ki sawari is something that dispenses out nostalgia and reminiscence . how so ever fast or super-fast the world may race, train lovers will always yearn for another journey in one of those coaches, amidst all the chaos  of obese aunties to crying children.

when we were younger, we prayed that our voyage would never end (specially the one which brought us back home,eventually dragging us back to school and monotonous routine). now having grown up (a bit) we shun our minds to hold onto such wishes but the journey is a pleasure for trouble makers and peaceful viewers alike.

now, now! As i adjusted myself securely in my compartment (and so did others) my mind couldn't help but notice the different kinds of people I had around me. and i have this extremely bad habit of walking up and down the whole coach for reasons unknown so i could had a wider glimpse and confirmation of what i saw.
so without any further nit grits coming straight to my observation of passengers :

The pesky callers - these are people who have this habit of dialing numbers non-stop to their relatives, colleagues, neighbours , servants etc etc etc. to inform about their safety, the stations passed , the stations yet to arrive and what not! It seems they are being paid by 'railway news' to transmit latest happenings round their phone-book .

The thief phobi'acs' - some people have this extremely irritating tendency of checking their belongings after every 10 mins (or less) . From hand purse to their water bottles , their eyes keep rolling to vouch out for thief and culprits...and if by any chance you happen to touch any of it, the loathsome looks you receive makes you search for a lawyer then and their to prove your innocence.

The hyperactive kids - kids are funny little creatures but when they hop and jump in the train till wee hours of the night ( in train wee hours means 12 or 1AM ) they are such a pain! To top it up ,their moms will continue to shout on every move they make inspite of the scornful gaze from poor , fed up passengers.

The silent sleepers- this class of people will sleep and sleep the day and night away. 'and miles to go as i sleep' is the mantra they seem to follow.

and finally,

The gossipers - who can miss them out? it all starts with 'where are you heading to? and ends on , hang on..does it ever END? ! from kids to their fathers , from clothes to cosmetics they jabber incessantly. and mind you..the saas- bahu era is over (relieved?) don't be!  Its diseases and health that comes as the new fad!

needless to say , travelling is in a itself not just a very refreshing but also a greatest of all learning experiences. as Dave Barry puts it beautifully And that's the wonderful thing about travel:  it provides you with experiences that will remain locked forever in the scar tissue of your mind :)

Thursday, January 13, 2011

A fight within

THIS IS MY FIRST ATTEMPT AT WRITING A 55-ER. Suggestions are heartily welcomed :)

She trudged through the streets. Shivering, in thin,tattered clothes.
yet winds mercilessly smacked her translucent attire, poking every nerve.
They weren't enough to fight those winds, but she bravely walked ahead to generate little warmth.
suddenly, she saw clothes hung outside a house.
Her mind stopped, waiting for a resolution- to surrender or steal!

Winters in Northern India continue to grow severe, with mercury dipping below the tolerant levels each day.
Often, sitting cosily in our homes we fail to realize how blessed we are and at the same time the plight of those shivering on the streets, many of who succumb to the chills every year.
The sole purpose of this 55-er is to stir in our conscience and generate compassion for those underprivileged souls. God protect us all.