They Showed me the right path....

When it comes to learning and growing not just in age but wisdom too, I think that my own suffering have been the greatest of all teachers.
As Charles Dickens said 'suffering has been stronger than all other teaching and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but I hope - into a better shape'.
No pain we suffer goes useless. It teaches us patience, humility, compassion, faith, confidence. Its only after shedding tears that the road ahead seems clearer.

It is also true that in these moments of trouble and trials does our real attitude stand out. Being a medical student I come across tens of patients and their despaired family members each day as they are scattered throughout the hospital. Each one of them waiting to get rid of his agony and distress.

Last month I had been posted to a government hospital in Delhi as a part of my 3rd year curriculum. I was supposed to collect the blood samples of 'bed no. 12' - female ward that day. So with all the necessary instruments like syringe and collecting vials etc. I made my way to the ward. On reaching the bed to my surprise the patient, a girl of about 17 years was surrounded by other inmates of the room.She was narrating them something and they all laughed. And the wards which are usually a gloomy place was filled with laughter and zest.

As I took her blood samples I tried to strike a conversation with her. (We are even taught to do the same with any patient in order to divert their attention while pricking a needle).
She told me that she was a student of class 12th and had secured a good 90%. She aspired to be a doctor and had toiled hard for the entrances the whole year but this unwelcoming illness made her miss all the entrances which meant she would have to wait for another year to be able to get admission in a college.

After taking the samples I ordered her to take rest and not talk much. She spoke again 'laughter is the best medicine, isn't it? I am helping myself and others get well soon' :)
I was amazed at her spirit and determination. How subtly did she made me learn that not only being happy is indeed the best medicine but its our outlook to things that makes all the difference.

Life in the capital city of India is so fast paced and busy. There is no time to stop and stare. A slit- throat competitive atmosphere prevails everywhere. I travel by DTC everyday and undoubtedly catching a bus is an extremely tedious task. You are pushed and crushed.The drivers halt the buses way ahead the directed mark. People literally want to grab and kick you out to 'edge' a place in the ever increasing number of commuters.

It was amidst such a scenario one day that I saw a lady in her 60's trying in vain to clutch the bus door handle.
But then suddenly a guy in his 20's who was standing beside me on the bus stop ran and not only shouted on the driver to stop the bus but also climbed and helped the woman get into the bus. The lady was moved to tears as she blessed the boy and thanked him.

As I and many others witnessed this incident, not just today but almost everyday I held my head in shame. And realized that its easy to crib and point out mistakes but to see a change we need to create it.

As we walk forward to shoulder bigger responsibilities we should never forget the lines learnt back in pre-school days: 

 "little deeds of kindness

little words of love

help to make our earth an Eden

like the heaven above".

And lastly an incident which was the first one to come in my mind when I read the topic.
It happened about 15 years back when I was around 7 years old but as they say that some incidents teach us lesson of a lifetime and no matter what they remain imprinted in our memories forever.

My uncle was about 65 years old then. He was a man of great principles and a thorough disciplinarian.
He would often come to our house and take us for shopping or to nearby places. We obviously liked him dearly.
On one such day, he decided to take us to the nearby book shop.The shop was a 20 minutes drive from our house.
While coming back in the autorickshaw we got stuck in a huge traffic jam. Uncle had an appointment at 5 PM and realizing he was already late, as he had to drop us and then go to his place he paid off the auto and decided to walk us to the house for it was only a 5 minutes walk from there. Since mobile phone were not common in those days so he had no way to inform anyone.

As we walked, suddenly a large stone on the road made uncle lose his balance and he fell down getting severely injured. later that week, he left for his heavenly abode.
I still remember his words that 'what better could it be to die for those morals and principles on which you have lived your entire life'.And uncle truly did that.
Now whenever I am running later I remember his punctuality and make it a point to at least inform the person waiting for me. I strive hard to live on and sustain my principles and beliefs just like him. And I am sure that when he sees me from up there he smiles and is so happy to know that I learnt what I saw and inculcated it in my life too!

I am sharing what 'I Saw and I Learnt' at BlogAdda.com in association with DoRight.in.

Her spirit is a Miracle :)

I went to meet her today like usual. Her words stumbled more, her head shakes vigorously and she looked paler and weaker then ever before. Yet none of it has oppressed her valour. The smile she wears on her lips could warm a whole winter month. she is my friend Ishita and she suffers from multiple sclerosis (MS). in case you haven't heard about it , MS is a disease in which the nerves of the central nervous system (brain and spinal cord) degenerate.

I met Ishita about 7 years ago in our school summer camp , she was a girl of numerous talents. Be it quizzes or dramatics ,singing or group discussions , she managed to enthrall everyone with her performances. A jack of all trades and a master charmer as i called her.

Today, my heart throbs to see a girl so capable lie on a bed 24x7 , completely reliant on others and incapable of hushing even a little fly that sits on her nose.

We had continued to be in touch even after the camp , her health began deteriorating but she never gave up - with a spirit as mighty as a mountain she not only passed her 9th standard but stood amongst the top rankers of her class.

Today, her misery casts a gloom on me every time I think of her deplorable state.

It was sometime in July the same year , she called me up one day and with a low voice told me about her disease.I like her, wasn't mature enough to foresee what faith had hurled on the innocent soul that time. 'you will get well soon' I said and she responded with a 'sure , thanks i will hopefully' in a cheerful voice.

Its been four years and i throttle everytime i visit her , more so because i have seen her dance , sing, speak and live life like a normal teenager.Her health has been declining each passing day and no miracles may happen. Neither is her survival a miracle. 

But her spirit is phenomenal. The way she bravely accepts it all is a 'miracle'.

she is not a mentally retarded patient. she remembers her Past , can judge her present and knows that her future rests on the same bed yet the vital spark I notice in her , chills the nerves and leaves me astounded - its a 'miracle'.

It may not be supernatural , but her zest for life , her desire to create and dwell in optimism - its a 'miracle'.

The love she intwines , making everyone around adore her, willingly spending time even if it means to sit near a stinking bed and patiently listening the words that fall apart - it s a 'miracle'.

Her face radiates with sheer beauty and her power packed smile even when she urinates on the bed itself - its a 'miracle'.

she is special , very special and that's why maybe God chose her, not to show miracles. He made her a miracle itself.

my friend Ishita is a miracle and I marvel her spirits. 




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PS : I would like add something here , A cousin of mine too suffers from the same disease and she is an equally brave and wonderful soul. This story is dedicated to her too :)

Peeping in a man's life- what they want !

To start with in my view no one is interested in knowing 'what-men-want'. Neither the men themselves (they are too confused and busy deciphering the needs of opposite gender) nor women (they are too preoccupied with their own needs).
But let me still continue to give you an insight on 'what-i-think-men-may-want'. And am sure there is no need for me to elaborate here the fact that we are not discussing the basic human needs or the character specific demands that are innate and make us who we are- an individual
Our needs and desires differ from one stage of life to another, so here goes my deep observation (yes! it took me some time to ponder over the actions and reactions of all men around me from my father to my friend's boyfriend) of 'what-men-want' or 'do-not-want.


For a boy (man) in his childhood :

• I want to play and play till the day ends. It doesn't matter if that is a knife or a small key, everything is a toy except those dolls.
• Don't ask me to sit at one place
• I don't want to study. Compel me to do that and you are my enemy for life.
• Don't you dare disturb me in between my favourite video/computer game.
• Cricket/football/any other sports makes me ecstatic.
• Don't shower your love in public or even private for that matter specially those 'my-boy-is-so-cute' looks and kisses. 
• Girls are fragile creatures. I love to play with them because they often don't fight or argue.
• Friendship means playing, laughing,jumping around and nothing else.
• Love...whats that?
• I love my mother and the bonding is unexplainable.

For a teenager boy (man) :

• I still love playing but c'mon i can't play with just about everything now.
• Yes, i still hate sitting at one place.
• Studies are a big NO. Computer and maths are my favourite subjects. I HATE biology and social studies.
• Computer/video games are my lifeline, with them i can survive even on a marooned place.
• Cricket/football/any other sports still makes my ecstatic.
• Public display of affection is still not permissible.
• Girls are fragile and beautiful creatures. I love talking to them when i don't have a video game to play.
• Friendship means games, fun,frolic.
• Love means a popular girl who is my girl friend, but my confidante is that girl who lends me the copy or completes my work and patiently listens to me.
• I love my mother, the bond is still the same.

For a 20-30's something man:

• I love playing the game of hearts more than anything now, life comes only once after all.
• Sitting at one place...ummm...let me think?
• studies? phew!! i m almost done with them...thank you lord!
• Girls are beyond my comprehension but they are beautiful , i know i can't do without them for long.
• Friendship means forever
• Love means stability and support.
• I love my mother , she occupies the highest place in my life.
• I want my sister to be the most respectable girl in town so at times i may overprotect her but all because i love her and i know the world is a bad place.
• I love food, that's the best way to my heart.
• Speak and share but not over do the giggling, talking and nagging. That irritates me.
• Its my time to own the world, make money and merry.
• You may be just a friend and i have no soft feelings for you but better don't call me your brother i may not appreciate that.

For a 40 something man and beyond :

• I love leading a quiet ,respectable and sedentary life now.
• I desire stability and support not money.
• My wife should give me good food and listen to me when i speak.
• I am growing old but i want my wife to stay active and beautiful always.
• My daughter is my biggest responsibly, i may not say but i ll feel free only when i get her married.
• I love to see my son grow and achieve what i could not.
• I love my mother still, i want her to be with me forever.
• I would love to correct all the mistakes i did in the past.
• I want to die before my wife because somewhere in my heart i know that there is no one to take care of me the way she does.

I tried my best to cover all aspects of what-men-want although i am aware the a little post cannot do justice to their desires. Each one of us needs LOVE and RESPECT above everything else and when we do something for someone keeping in view this aspect its hard to go wrong :)

On the ending note i am reminded of the lines of a song from the movie 'My fair lady' which goes as :

Well after all, I'm an ordinary man,

Who desires nothing more than an ordinary chance, 

to live exactly as he likes, and do precisely what he wants... 

An average man am I, of no eccentric whim, 

Who likes to live his life, free of strife, 

doing whatever he thinks is best, for him, 

Well... just an ordinary man... 

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