I walk on a road lush with dreams,
a road of forgotten and veiled dreams,
sometimes slowly, sometimes gaily,
sometimes lost, sometimes profound,
I walk a road of unknown mysteries,
fervently finding my way through the endless path.....

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Bleeding blades and pleasure...

"The only antidote to mental suffering is physical pain."
-Karl Marx

A deep sharp cut and another portion of her arm went numb. The nerves halted their job of sending any signals. It was a pure red blood...she felt alive and yet so dead! tossing the knife away, she loathed the blade and her own existence as much but this dark, red blood rushing through the slit made her forget all...the pain, the agony and emotions which entrapped her unresponsive body. It fell drop by drop on the ground, bestowing a sense of ease, as if the world had come to a stand still in those frozen moments when the blushing vital fluid oozed out of each vein.
Cutting is so easy she thought! closing her eyes tightly,sniffing with a powerful thrust...

another cut and another spell of sensation less satisfaction...this time she purposely stretched it longer and deeper to elevate those divine moments which were momentary but momentous for her survival now.
yes! she did curse herself every morning yet she couldn't afford to lose it.It had bound her, a complete possession...but  a few minutes of freedom was something that catalyzed her entire being...her life!

"a harrowing delight", she murmured to herself mindlessly picking up the blade and clearing the mess around.

then settling herself on the floor, she stared hard on her arms and legs, there were cuts all over...some black others brown..the recent ones pained now, a little blood still seeped through, so many cuts and each told a different tale..a tale of hatred, a tale of madness, a tale of fear, a tale of being lost, but above all it was a tale of un-acceptance. she was conscious of her actions, but cutting was a habit now, an addiction so heavenly and euphoric that even the most agonizing falls didn't subjugate the pleasure. Although she understood that it HAD to be given up, whatever starts HAS to end someday! Sitting on the same stained floor everyday she had resolved to end it all! no more would she succumb to the urge of numbness, no more would she give in to the slavery of shining blades.

 A dozen of failed attempts had only made the situation worst and today she did not plan to get back the same sense of failure. A certain thought lured her, and the intensity of its command shrieked out louder than ever at this hour. 
frailingly she stood up..toppling on her own self and managed to open the windows wide. the moon shone white and stars flickred brightly. a cool and gentle breeze penetrated each turmoil, chilling her spine.
'blessed are those who could be wild and free' she thought and in fickle of the moment  'jumped' . 
It was a free end! A free life ahead! 

Self harm or self injury is a disorder characterized by intentional hurting to oneself. The commonest form being cutting. The ironical part is that people ( usually teenagers) who participate in self-injurious behavior are usually likable, intelligent, and functional. 
What prompted me to write this post was a 'real' story of a girl who had indulged in extreme degree of self harm, fortunately she asked for help and her situation could be rectified. But not everyone is as lucky as her. The victims generally choose to suffer in silence for the sake of unexplained pleasure and more so coz they are afraid to ask for help! self mutilation is increasing at an alarming rate due to increased stress levels, What is required of us is self-control and vigilance to look around people with such suicidal tendencies, they are in dire need of help! our help!

and finally something that touched me beyond words :

'It was raw and bright. I was mesmerized by how my skin was changing color. I closed my eyes and imagined the cells pulling together to form a tight pink barrier. I felt like I could leave the world by diving into this wound'. –Abby Sher, “Cutting Made Me Forget My Eating Disorder”

Friday, March 25, 2011

A strange encounter (55-F)

55 Fiction is a form of microfiction that refers to the works of fiction limited to a maximum of fifty-five words.

In her favourite red dress she tip-toed to the most deserted corners.
vibrant ambiance impelled her
to scour the place when suddenly her eyes got fixed on a man behind.

"A loner like me?" she smiled thoughtfully and marched towards him.

"May i help you ma'am" ?

At once her jaw dropped.

 "what...A waiter" ?? !!!

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

In the name of "the DIVINE game"

FOREWARNING :  This post has been carved out of sheer madness. I have no intentions what so ever to hurt anybody's sentiments. However, if you feel offended in any way, my sincere apologies to you!

Cricket will be a religion
players demigods
a place of pilgrimage
will be 'THE LORDS'

toddlers will know
yorkers and spin
LBW and no balls
the gravest of SINS

match highlights will be 'chanted'
every single day
learn them you must
or you are sure to go astray

bat and ball will be sacred
and umpires be priests
before heading for crucial jobs
a six you must hit

two matches daily
on weekends six
watch,play and win
or be labelled an ATHEIST

WORLD CUP will be the 'religious month'
gulp as much as you may
auspicious to catch it live
all your troubles at bay

Sachin's achievements the HOLY BOOK
Ponting's- the lesser writings
'cricket ethics and morals'
school's will be teaching

all youngsters will be SAGES
acquainted with subtle nuances
young , dynamic players
eyed by mothers and their lasses

matrimonial will read
'should be a follower of cricket
can score at least two centuries
and run between wickets'

Government will swear
in the name of the 'CUP'
and country who wins
will be the most developed

each nation a SECT
captain as the leader
game performance will decide
your 'creed' and 'caste'

MATCH FIXING would be contemplated
to be a 'Satan's job'
whoever consorts with it
to be hell bound by the Gods

And I am sure this religion
will originate in INDIA
for our sentiments
sculpt it out perfectly

Look! I made you fantasize
of such marvellous cricket days
when hitting centuries my friend
will be a child's play :P

So whose going 'cricket-igious' ?

Saturday, March 12, 2011

A wanderer's search....

He strolled through the woods
searching for a reason
a reason for existence
a reason for his creation

and that lay
between galaxies and ground
beneath skies and souls
burrowed in mountains and minds

tired he was of a moribund life
Work pressure and endless strife
and somewhere in his mind it reigned
higher has to be life's aim

and so walked on for aeons
till no thirst or crave perturbed
sullen and frayed
deciphering the cryptic colours and curves

mystified by marvels
he bowed in amazement
"speak to me O' universe
of your signs and ciphers"

with moon and stars as companions
and sun to elevate his patience
he deciphered the real existence
clearly differentiating mirage and reflection

the world is flat
huge and layered beneath
illusions are everywhere
except skin deep

In the wake of night
so much to see , hear and embrace
yet nothing is as it seems
the closest ones hidden underneath

and finally the universe did speak
when all concealed signs had unveiled
and fuming mist wiped out
on a night so dark and bleak

he stood in a state so euphoric
divinely composed yet a lunatic
embossing wisdom , engraved passion
he had reached his destination

It took no chants on shrines
he confirmed with a lilting mind
'what is utmost superior and true'?

"It is this soul which resides in you"

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

CRICKET - country's pride or government's ploy ??

The season of hits and catches is back !!!
And India seems to be going bonkers on anything remotely related with cricket.. As the cricket mania sweeps us to our couches, do we care to know whats happening in our mainstream politics? or whatever happened to the 11% inflation ?

Cricket - no matter how esteemed or ecstatic it may appear, at the end of the day is just another 'sport' - a form of recreation and entertainment. then how can it kick back the economic and social happenings of a country? Who has to play a pivotal role in it? We, the government or the media?
It is actually a vicious circle of government and bureaucrats puppeting media person and the junta in turn being a silent , gullible puppet of the media's hullabaloo.

Media has always been the most influential tool for all sought of communications to and within the masses. what they show us is what we not just see but also believe and preach.
As Noam Chomsky , one of the greatest living thinkers alive puts it - 'media today is the channel which rules the minds of the people' .    

Not long ago, in the midst of CWG 2010 , India shackled and drenched in in numerous scams - from Prime minister or states minister, each one was caught to be a sinister. But what did the media show us? Uncompleted CWG sites, preparations that didn't speed up even as we watched them and disgusted ourselves 24x7. Did our respect degrade more when the bridges collapsed or did is collapse more when the genuinity and dignity of our dear PM was at stake?  Behind the media blitz of energetic sporting events lies governments dark curtains to hide off corruption and loot of wealth , peace and prosperity. Doesn't it sound peculiar that 'IPL buying and selling of players' can be a national headline when India was being tagged ( or was on its way to be tagged) as the SCAM CAPITAL OF THE WORLD?

History presents before us a classical example of the same. The Romans inaugurated a 150 days of games- the Olympics, at the time when people were being oppressed and killed, what was the need of 150 days of games in a year? It was in reality their tactics to loot the other civilisations , inhabitants and near by empires. These Olympics which were being played at the expense of the state.on the front they showcased youthfulness and bravery but behind it lay more darker objectives of repression , subjugation and economic loot.

Aren't we facing something similar today? Or what is the need for IPL, 20-20 , one -days and now the world cup?  Even the standard news hours of the day are not spared of repeated telecasts of each little petty issue on and off the field. Does it really make a difference to know who 'buys' whom and for 'how much' when on the real stage we are paying a high price for even our basic amenities? Do the glittering brand endorsements by a handful of players matters more than the bitter reality that 1/3rd of the Indian population continues to be below poverty line? Does Sachin Tendulkar's century come above the cost of loosing a child every 15seconds due to unhygienic health conditions? 

If it does than we deserve to be where be are even after 62 years of 'glorious' independence. but if it doesn't than we need to rip open those curtain and desire to seek something substantial rather than blindly going batty over ulterior motives of silly puppeteers !!