I walk on a road lush with dreams,
a road of forgotten and veiled dreams,
sometimes slowly, sometimes gaily,
sometimes lost, sometimes profound,
I walk a road of unknown mysteries,
fervently finding my way through the endless path.....

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Clothes - the 'masked' culprits

So you are out shopping with your friend in that LBD to buy another LCD (no not TV, its little cute dress you idiot)? Great I say but then why sneer when those ugly jerks fix their gaze hard at you? 
If you claim all rights to wear what you wish even they can command of every right to see 'whatever' they desire. No?

'Prevention is better than cure'- an age old adage we all know. But unfortunately most of us visualize prevention as a task too tedious and thereby calmly ignoring it until trouble bangs loud on our doors.

When it comes to protecting our selves as women we insist on carrying 'pepper sprays' and learning techniques of martial arts, which is all good undoubtedly but in the picture of larger things we forget of the basic tools nature and society conjointly has granted us - The right as well as freedom to 'cover ourselves'!

Yes clothes have been and will always be the greatest tool the greatest weapon against perverted and lascivious eyes especially in a country like ours where mindset is too reluctant to change.

No matter the extent of hue and cry one makes over upgrading your thoughts certain things are embedded within the very soil and society.

Choose what you wear wisely!!

Let me present you with a situation to explain things in a more coherent manner. If a madmen leaps onto you every time he sees you with a stick what would you do?
Would you continue appearing in front of him with the authority and so-called rights or would you rather opt a wiser and level headed way to tackle him?

The issue in hand is pretty much analogous. Hurling stones and sticks at a madmen would do no good and neither would trespassing the laws of nature. If you are so keen on exercising your rights and responsibilities then opt for modesty in how you present yourselves instead of giving those leering eyes all advantage to see what lies within you. 

I dare not say that this will deter the diseased minds from spreading dirt but we as women should not foster the obscenity in them.

Not long ago there was an incident of a little girl being raped because the guy reportedly had got all 'charged up' seeing a barely clad lady minutes ago. Here, I am in no way advocating the guy's action as acceptable but merely mentioning the repercussions and reactions of your actions and attire.

I know many of you will dismiss my thoughts as retrogressive since skimpy clothes today are almost De rigour but so is rape and eve-teasing my friends!
And if you accept that what you wear defines who you are to a great extent then denying the fact that our clothes play no role in how people around us see and feel about us would be so hypocritical.

This in no way means that dressing is directly connected to crimes like rapes but your attire is definitely related to how you are perceived. Why complain of being labelled as 'sex objects' when you proudly show cleavages in public places? 

Once we start appreciating the power of a modest dressing, the freedom one gains from it and your right to be respected rather leered at am sure many a things will jump up on the right path!

And in the end I quote Margaret Hale to sum it up all so elegantly:

“One of the first evidences of a real lady, is that she should be modest. By modesty we mean that she shall not say, do, nor wear anything that would cause her to appear gaudy, ill-bred, or unchaste. There should be nothing about her to attract unfavorable attention, nothing in her dress or manner that would give a man an excuse for vulgar comment. When we dress contrary to the rule of modesty we give excuse for unwholesome thoughts in the mind of those who look upon us, and every girl who oversteps these bounds makes herself liable to misunderstanding and insult, though she may be innocent of any such intention.” 


  1. The naked truth. During this era of misplaced feminism, "freedom to cover" is totally forgotten. We often hear people (read feminists) saying, why can't men change themselves! The question is, can you command them? And the answer is, NO! You can just wish that they change. Why not adapt something which is in your own hands. When I read this article, I was pleasantly surprised to see this coming from a lady. Pardon me for this comment, but I've been seeing that any suggestion of this sort is being taken in negatively now a days and hence, I read each and every word to find out if it is also a sarcastic post. But, no it was not :)
    I had written something on similar lines a long ago with a fearful mind that I will be bashed. You know the reaction? Most of the women reading that article appreciated it and there were a few bashing comments :)
    Here is the link: -
    What if men roam around only in briefs?

    1. As I have mentioned that sometimes its gets difficult for people to take precautions coz coming out of their shell is difficult. Its not just about modesty but also about freedom hope woman realize it soon.Agreed on the 'adapting things which are in your own hand part'!
      Even I was expecting a lot of negative remarks on this post but while posting it I was determined to speak my mind and fight for it!
      Will read your post asap! :D

  2. You forget chowmein. No wonder the Chinese were pissed at us.

    1. chowmein is lame..too lame...and its unforgettable too :D

  3. Like your presentation, though don't agree with the view. Working on upbringing of kids so that the boys don't think girls are inferior and they can do anything they want to .. and girls don't feel inferior and repress themselves is what society needs.

    Rapes don't happen, coz of sexual urges .. they happen coz women are perceived as something that can be used... this is psychologically proved. The sick mentality is the root cause. So, by asking women to cover, the root cause is not only being ignored but also its kind of encouraging the crime itself. Think about it.

    1. I don't deny to what you say. Better upbringing and education with awareness is undoubtedly necessary. But our here am not suggesting cure rather preventive measure.
      As you pointed out that the root cause lies in our mentality, so at least till this mentality isn't changing we woman need to be cautious. Its very similar to carrying pepper sprays or martial art, will you call that encouragement of crime or ignoring the cause? no i suppose then why not visual;sing a modest dress as a saviour and a right.

  4. der r chances f getting negative remarks on dis post... but wat u have written z harsh truth in our society... appreciate ur thoughts.. n same z d mine..
    well written :)

    1. Haafiza I knew it beforehand so am all ready for criticism..let people bring it up! :)

  5. When I see a 5 year old boy playing outside a house...I dont feel the urge to kidnap...similarly when I see a woman wearing a dress inappropriate to the setting...I dont feel the urge to rape...if girls themselves will start bashing the victims we will make no headway...I agree that our mindset is too reluctant to change but this post is not helping either...dress modest of course...but bcoz u feel lyk it and nt bcoz of others pathetic mindset...good read though...thnx fr d post.

  6. when i see a five year old boy playing outside his house, i dont feel the urge to kidnap him and similarly, when i see a girl dressed inappropriately for the setting...i dont feel the urge to rape...if women themselves are going to bash the victims we will make no headway...i agree with ur premise that our mindsets are too reluctant to change...but this post isnt helping either...dont succumb to the problem, rise against it...dress modestly of course but bcoz u want to and not bcoz its somehow a preventive measure. Good read though thnxs for the post.