My fast paced life seems to have come to a screeching halt. Not even a screech actually, just a silent stop. Engulfing me is a weird feeling. Like I have been running for a long time and almost suddenly I reached a dead end. The end of a road with only darkness. An authoritative darkness. This is not a crossroad, where I am supposed to chose a path. I have come face to face with a crossroad too, trust me, this isn't that. This is a cul-de-sac with no options, no choices.
Life seems meaningless. Pointless. Directionless.
Its not as if I am unsatisfied or depressed, its just that everything and everyone seems futile. My friends and acquaintances appear as mere passing phase. I talk to them, laugh with them but I don't feel a part of that conversation or that joke. I feel unaccustomed to living in this strange world around me. As if, this is not where I belong. Or this is some transient destination in which I have stayed for too long and that I should now, depart. To a familiar place, towards my journey's end.
And like someone who is fed up of waiting for the scheduled bus for too long, loses interest in his surroundings, I too am nonchalant to all that encircles me.
This apathy of my weakening soul is completely new for me. Never have I experienced such a dead end. This desire to dwell somewhere I am not sure exists. Even if it exists, how am I supposed to reach there? My path to progress has been dismantled. My dreams not shattered but abducted.
Until now, I had been a very optimistic person, always finding a speck of light among the darkest of dudgeons but right now, its different.
I can't even say that its time to move on or start afresh because from where should I begin and to where am I supposed to move on?
Is it some sort of a cruel ugly game or a sleep disturbing nightmare? I hope it is and it ends soon. Very soon. Else this grave like atmosphere would gobble me slowly but surely.
I am dying to struggle, to fight. To barge again into this shattering world of cut throats and selfish smiles. To run again. And faster. To feel that yes, I do belong here. Somewhere. Anywhere.
Life seems meaningless. Pointless. Directionless.
Its not as if I am unsatisfied or depressed, its just that everything and everyone seems futile. My friends and acquaintances appear as mere passing phase. I talk to them, laugh with them but I don't feel a part of that conversation or that joke. I feel unaccustomed to living in this strange world around me. As if, this is not where I belong. Or this is some transient destination in which I have stayed for too long and that I should now, depart. To a familiar place, towards my journey's end.
And like someone who is fed up of waiting for the scheduled bus for too long, loses interest in his surroundings, I too am nonchalant to all that encircles me.
This apathy of my weakening soul is completely new for me. Never have I experienced such a dead end. This desire to dwell somewhere I am not sure exists. Even if it exists, how am I supposed to reach there? My path to progress has been dismantled. My dreams not shattered but abducted.
Until now, I had been a very optimistic person, always finding a speck of light among the darkest of dudgeons but right now, its different.
I can't even say that its time to move on or start afresh because from where should I begin and to where am I supposed to move on?
Is it some sort of a cruel ugly game or a sleep disturbing nightmare? I hope it is and it ends soon. Very soon. Else this grave like atmosphere would gobble me slowly but surely.
I am dying to struggle, to fight. To barge again into this shattering world of cut throats and selfish smiles. To run again. And faster. To feel that yes, I do belong here. Somewhere. Anywhere.
