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I walk on a road lush with dreams,
a road of forgotten and veiled dreams,
sometimes slowly, sometimes gaily,
sometimes lost, sometimes profound,
I walk a road of unknown mysteries,
fervently finding my way through the endless path.....

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Not a love story.


He ditched me again today.  This thought had always escorted itself with a wish. A wish of him abandoning me for ever. But maybe, infact  most certainly playing with my feelings was his favourite game, a pass time and an addiction.

I sat on my terrace, watching the infinite sky yet my mind wandered in the vicinity.

'Hi baby! am back' he startled me with his usual tone and pecked my cheeks.
I managed a smile, a bitter one but he realized not. After all I was a mere play board for him.

'the sky looks so beautiful and you are equally gorgeous. So lets dance, c'mon give me your hand'
He notoriously offered his hand to me. 

I sat still eyeing the floor as if ignorant to his deceptions and frauds.
The reality was that he couldn't understand what went within me.

Its indeed strange how love, which made you so strong once could turn into your biggest weakness.
And the pain which is suppose to make you weak can provide you strength to endure so much.

I gave him my hand - again.

There had been a time when his slight touch, even his gaze could set my heart racing and blood gushing.
Today, however in spite of us being so close I felt nothing. All emotions eluded me. 

He started stroking my hair and gently whispered 'you are the most important part of my life'
I died a little more inside.

Its sad but like happiness, pain isn't infectious. 
It never 'spreads out' rather 'seeps deep in' and kills you moment by moment. word by word.

We then sat like a perfect couple.  'baby I cant imagine my world without you
He once again throw ed his friendly dice.
I died a little more inside.


People may wonder why I said nothing. Some of you may even verdict my act as naive or pity me but I choose to experience it and let the agony kill my love.
 
Coz harbouring mixed feelings is his trait. 
For me its absolute - either perfect love or pure hatred.
Till then I choose to nurture hatred like I once intoxicated your love.
I choose to suffer in silence.

32 comments:

  1. nice writing...though it pinches somewhere

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    1. betrayal and hatred do not appeal to humans. maybe thats y...:)

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  2. hmm..I relate to this...The person who makes you feel beautiful sometimes does make u feel like the ugliest person alive...
    the most unwanted person in the planet.
    yet we love!

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    1. yes! that person has a power to do so and indeed still we love!

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  3. beautifully written. perfect love or pure hatred; absolutely.

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    1. good to have u on the blog deb. and glad u liked it :)

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  4. Love is a funny devil, can give you eternal bliss, and is equally capable of everlasting misery and pain.

    Nice read.


    Cheers,
    Blasphemous Aesthete

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    1. Indeed it is! Good to see u on the blog after a long time :)

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  5. love is like that Sarah.. PS: I'm hosting Haiku Challenge this year too.. I wish you should participate.. Stop by here for more details..

    Someone is Special

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    1. hey SIS! i wud have loved to participate in the haiku challenge this year too but blame my xams..i wont be able too :(
      good luck to u by d way :D
      and thnks for dropping by the place!

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  6. Omg! it's a beautiful piece :) since when on earth u started preaching love sermons? ;) :P

    great work!

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    1. Iram..u made me happy :D
      and d worlds seems to go gaga over love..ye to mera farz tha :P

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  7. I choose to suffer in silence. Very pathetic sentence.
    I read your comments about u. U spoke from your heart. Very nice. I admired so I added your link to my blog. Kindly add mine too.

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    1. I feel so glad that readers could make out what i wanted to express! and thnks for adding me to ur netwrk, will definitely check urs. welcome :)

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  8. Definitely not a love story. How long to stay in such a relation? Suffering in silence, not good. Though sadly its prevailing.

    Very well narrated sarah

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    1. Its all about how u perceive it. love is a force so powerful and adamant that it can make u do whats unbelievable and unexpected.
      glad u liked it di :)

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  9. love speaks of bliss but not without pain...maybe nothin has more pain to give and take than love...nice write up..:)

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  10. wow.. great selection of words, post is like yin-yang
    but the last line was pretty STRONG !
    keep rocking
    Dee..

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    1. yup, kinda yin-yang. glad u stopped by d blog :)

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  11. Sarah, you are like me. I so related with this post of yours.

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    1. thats not exactly me. But love can make u do d unexpected!

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  12. Sometimes, it is very difficult to let go off a person however the situation may be. We just tend to grow so dependent.. It's sad. It hurts, but we still hold on.
    This was a lovely write. Something we can all relate to :)

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    1. true indeed. and glad u liked it philo :)

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  13. Its sad but like happiness, pain isn't infectious.
    It never 'spreads out' rather 'seeps deep in' and kills you moment by moment. word by word.
    Sad?
    I am thankful to God that it isn't infectious...
    For me its absolute - either perfect love or pure hatred.
    Love is a weird phenomena, its happens in a second for some, or takes decades for some to really understand and accept....forcing answers isn't a smart choice?
    One should assume patience, or rather not dare enter the maze in first place :)
    Good write up :)

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    1. now thats quite a comment. and i liked it coz it quotes my words :P and u appear to have become wise after reading it :P

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  14. Oh my god Sarah, it was so painful to read this. Nice one, but does not leave you with a good feel!

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    1. I know...but sometimes v should also come face to face with bitterness.

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  15. Fluid writing ! Visit us when you can

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  16. that picture is very creative.. any idea who did that ?

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    1. ummm...i got it through google image search! btw..i expected u'd say something on the (poor) post too :P

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  17. Now this is classy ... you should write more love stories :-)

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