Its a climb....

I know people change. Change so subtly that is takes days to believe the existence of something that was imperceptible before.

I know people turn their back.I have seen them hiding their faces like the evening sun which dips ever so slowly somewhere in the horizon and darkens all that's around, while you stand patiently for the dingy light to be thrust upon.

I know people back stab.I have felt them poking those incessant punches on me like the merciless winds in a vast, hot, sandy desert which away extracts all moisture and vitality and depresses one deep in the restless sand.

I know it because life blessed me with relations and thrust upon me the intricacies of dealing with people. People who promised to never change and relations which were as sturdy as huge mountains. But nothing can change the nature of change for it has to change!

And its no more surprising yet an irony as to how the most toughest of glasses shatter easily. Promises that define our being, are our strengths and hope dissolve as soon as we lean onto them perfectly.

I know it because I have leaned onto such promises completely and in a few moments there was a loud thud. so loud that it lost its audibility maybe. For nobody heard anything. But I know it because I felt the silence.

A missing part.

A dissolved promise. 

A dead relation.

Its at times surprising as to how relations build up. The sweetness tends to be dissolved in innumerable and never ending expectations. 

Expectations that climb a ladder of shattering hopes and broken promises.The trouble is we cant do much about it. Its spontaneous. No matter how tough you appear to be, you are bound to expect and be disappointed in return. I know it coz I have had my share of shattered hopes and expectations.

And not just for once but innumerable times.

I wont label my life as one of extraordinary pain or change but yes, I can proudly say that I have had my share till now. No wonder there is more to come. For the pages of destiny cant go blank.They have been filled with an ink that outlines my life. The fact is that I don't have a choice , neither does life have, we both are being played upon by something superior. For 

"he who makes my woes for me

will think about my woes

my brooding over them would be

a greater woe than those" :)

Unimpeded....

Taking hold of me

from dawn to dusk

and dusk to dawn

in blooms and flush

desires never die

unconsciously they lie

flourishing like weeds

causing untold miseries

spinning concentric webs

thread by thread

entangling and breaking, entangling again

futile is to impede

amorphous kindling aspirations

setting up wildly like a storm

rooting deep to the deepest

outgrowing the tallest of trees

I fight and I resist

those arrays of emotions

but there is no holding them

futile is to impede

neither meaningful words

nor soulful talks

can subdue those temptations

and futile is to impede....

Of 'BAI-S' and 'BYES' !!!

As I step into my house after a monotonous yet exhaustive day at college, my mother yells " you kids live in your own fantasy lands/nobody cares as to how the house is running/can't even pick up your own clothes/when I was of your age I took care of the whole house while my mother simply sat in a corner and instructed! Plus a special one specially thrown on me - what will you do in your sasural/get out of the illusion that your mom-in-law will cook for you!"

And the moment my ears vibrate to such a noise I instantly knows that 'our dear maid is on leave today'!!

In today's era when each one of us is so terribly bounded by time which ticks at a lightening speed, interdependency on 'helpers' comes natural. In fact they are our lifelines much the same way as Internet and cell phones. And going by the ever increasing demands our 'bai-s' happen to be one of the most dominating people of our society today. 

At times I seriously wonder if we medicos or engineers or bankers play a role as pivotal as these women clad in suits with a bun do?

And so our dear bai-s come up with their own set of demands and pay packages.

They need a holiday on a Sunday plus an additional off every two weeks never hurts HER (it does ruin my weekend though) when a shopping plan is murdered brutally as my mom drags me verbally to the kitchen!

Last week our bai turned up after a long 4 days holiday(it seems much longer to me for obvious reasons) and on being interrogated told that she had a marriage to attend tomorrow! Imagine being away from work 4 days prior to 'neighbour's marriage'..am sure you can't afford it even in your wildest dreams but she is our Bai. She definitely can!

To top it up the lady wanted a brand new sari, to which my mom agreed almost instantly (poor thing she got no choice) and I was red with rage. c'mon I wore an old sari even for my farewell, now isnt this pure bias?!

Not only this she comes every day to work with a fresh gajra in her bun teemed up with matching earrings and bags. Needless to say she has a cell phone too!

Coming to the resignation rules,our dear bai has none! I mean she can resign any day, any hour and at any instant. For reasons which vary from exceeding workload to bizarre ones of not being offered tea and snacks in the evening!

One of our neighbours maid quit the job because their little 4 year old kid spilled milk on her. I dearly sympathize with him going by the serious trauma that innocent soul would have faced from her mother after this lady left in cold blood.

Well ,enough of sulking now ( but believe me that sari thing really hurt). 

I am seriously planning to do some part time course in 'being-bai' because the future seems to be more secure and lavish with that degree now-a-days. And by the way, when I told my mom about this idea all she had to say was 'beta, today is a Sunday, go wash the utensils' !

P.S : Our maid owns a Nokia N-97! I am NOT exaggerating, I swear!  :P